I Wear a Six But a Seven Feels So Good I Buy an Eight

I have been trying to hide the sheer depression and anguish I have been enduring since we moved from the ghetto to our new house over Christmas break. I know. I have appeared chipper and gleeful -- and I am excited to be in a new neighborhood in a new city in a new county in our new state in our new time zone. BUT -- during the move, something horrendous happened. Something atrocious. Something that has been unbearable to talk about, to think about, to blog about.

I have lost something. Something VERY valuable and in the core of my heart. Brace yourself. My red heels.

I will let you have a moment.

And I kept thinking they would show up somewhere. They would be in some box or some suitcase or some closet. But alas, after 2 months of searching they are no where to be found. It is hard for me to think about where they may be -- are they cold, lonely, scared....ON SOME HUSSY'S FEET? I know. I know. It is almost too much to bear.

Yet another moment of silence.

And I have checked on line and on zappos and ebay and craigslist and illegal sites I should never have to subject myself to....but last season's shoes are no where to be found.
So I rounded up ET Saturday morning and we mapped out every Nine West between here and Katmandu - we were on a mission. And after 5 hours and over half a dozen stores, we were feeling hopeless. Hope to the Less I tell you.

Our last stop was the Nine West outlet. We had called ahead -- they did not have them, but we went anyway -- it was for the shoes. And the sale.And when we walked in -- nothing. Nothing. And I sat down -- despondent. Frustrated. And wanting them more now than ever - especially since they were no where to be found.

And I noticed a clearance aisle in the very back and what to my wondrous eyes did appear? Oh yes honey child. My shoes. Now let me just stop and say for a moment, the chances of these shoes being here? One in forty eleven. The chance of them being in my size? Well, details schmetials. I wear a six but a seven feels so good I buy an eight. Can I get a witness? They will fit. Period.And while I was there, I mise well take advantage of the buy one get one half off right?So say hello to plum metallic lover. AKA - plum heavenly. AKA Hallelujah.

IJ says he can't tell a difference. Jealous. And in order to celebrate our victorious find, we decided to go to the Great American Cookie Factory. And just for the record, I GOT WATER.
And a double decker cookie with icing -- but who's counting calories anyway?

All that weight will never go to my feet. So I made IJ take me out.
And I ordered and ordered and ordered and ordered.

Cause they are a half size too big and all. I gotta fill them up.

Amen.