I'm Popeye The Sailor Man

Indiana Jones has whisked me away to a life of rest, relaxation, wine, massages, and sailing! I was all down with the list until we hit sailing! SAILING?? Uhm, will that require coordination? And athletic ability? And skill? Cause I think we have established I have no skillz. Well, I do have some skillz, not to brag or anything.

You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Guys only want girls who have great skills. That's how I got IJ and all. My skillz. But once we got out on the water, I got a little nervous. My spawn were walking inches from the depths of the ocean. And he seemed angry and ready to swallow my genetic offspring. They seemed to not notice. Which did not help to ease my anxieties - not one little bit. So I began herding my gaggle around me.CAREFUL! Watch your step! Hold on. I think I saw a shark. SAVE ME STEVE IRWIN!Protect me Poseidon. Where art thou Sea Gods?I was making my Twerps miserable. But I just couldn't help it.What if they fell overboard and were swept away to sea????The captain kinda made fun of my over-protectiveness BUT HELLO!! Obviously he has never procreated. Cause it is a lot of work to replace one of these things. NINE MONTHS. NINE MONTHS I SAY! I was a human incubator for 9 MONTHS. And he wanted to just throw all that hard work overboard.Then he said, "EVEN IF THEY FALL IN I CAN HAVE THEM BACK IN THE BOAT WITHIN 2 MINUTES. IT'S NOT LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO DIE."

Uhm, well why didn't you say so?!?!?

Then and only then - once I knew I would not have to pop another bun in my oven for a replacement, I could relax a little....Okay -- a lot. I even let the Twerps DRIVE THE BOAT! Or steer? Or guide? Or navigate?

And ET and I danced around the stern? or deck? or platform?

I like the word STAGE -- but why get into details here?

We actually had an absolute divine time... It was a TAD bit chilly -- but that is the very reason they made this hat....I don't have much use for it in the Deep South. It just doesn't fit well into the Civil War reenactment scene.

This is me totally thinking I am Jackie O. Please let me have my delusional thoughts. It is where I live: rainbow and kitten world.But I think the most relaxed of us all was Eldest Twerp --

I am sorry, but only a teenager could possibly sleep in the middle of the ocean ...Or possibly she is King Poseidon's child. Sorry, IJ -- it was bound to come out sooner or later.

He is a God and all -- how could I say no???