SOLD to the Lady In the Second Row

Monday morning was like a WWF Smackdown at the Plantation. Everything was in chaos and I was beginning to doubt my parenting skills. Nonetheless my Mother of the Year award.

No one could find their toothbrushes. Then we found them, -- (brace yourself) -- in the toilet. Then we were out of toilet paper. Then all underwear and socks had magically disappeared.

I just looked up to the heavens and cried out, "God of Wonders Beyond Our Galaxy? Please send some apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves. I need peace and harmony in this land."

Then I laid the law down to my heathen spawn who were runnin around like a chicken with its head cut off. I said -- DO NOT COME BACK DOWNSTAIRS UNTIL YOU ARE COMPLETELY DRESSED AND READY. Or I will spend your college fund on shoes and lipgloss. Amen.

Then Baby Twerp arrives all dress and precious and...and....Uhm, What socks are you wearing? What do you mean it is all that is clean? It was useless at this point...The wrestling was back on. I cut my losses and thought a little pink never hurt anyone. Right? I am still a domesticated goddess, right? Hello? Then this one came bounding down the stairs. To which I stated, "Lord have mercy, that shirt looks like you slept in it. We need to take an iron to it."

Her response, "WE HAVE AN IRON?" "Funny, I have never seen you use it."

They are all up for adoption.

Disclaimer: They come with mismatched socks, unbrushed teeth, and wrinkly clothes.