I Am A Portuguese Architect, In My Spare Time

I know. I know. I promised I would post. And then I didn't. And then you all emailed me and set me straight. Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

But I have an excuse. Kinda. If you are merciful and just. I didn't post yesterday because, I bought a house. Now I know what you are thinking GOOD LORD WOMAN, you have moved twice in the past 18 months -- what is up with you? I think we have proven I follow no rhyme or reason. I am an Anomaly. Which reminds me of hominy. Which I am not that. But I do love that. My grandma use to fry up some hominy. And my heart with sing forth in glorious praises as the lard soaked corn slid down my throat.

Sorry. I digress.

Anyhoo. I bought a house. And by "I" I mean "IJ" Cause we are painfully aware of the foster home that slipped through our hands and is a victim of the system now. Sitting. Alone. and Unwanted. Foreclosure doomed before it. It is a sad sad case. I weep.

But we bought a house. And now we are moving on September 27th. Although I might move on September 28th, cause round numbers do more for my skin tone.

And I KNEW you all would want mega details about where we are moving and you would want pics and stories. So I did what any God-fearin, Bible-totin, Good-hearted friend would do. I hired an architect off the coast of Portugal to sketch some prints of the house for you. So they would be drawn to scale and have the level of detail you need to fully grasp the idiosyncrasies of my new home. Plus I have a thing for Portuguese men. IJ knows. That's why I call him Antonio.

Anyhoo -- my new home needed some context behind it. So first I had our skilled architect from Portugal sketch a detailed pic of my current home -- so you can put into context how far away my new home is.

So behold, the award winning Portugal Architect's sketch of my OLD HOME:

I know. I was blown away as well. The skill. The detail. I am in awe.

Now to move on to bigger and better things. My new home.

My new home is a mere SIX houses away from my old home. Which means the following:

1. My spawn will not have to move schools
2. I will still have access to the neighborhood wine party.
3. I will still have access to the neighborhood pool parties
4. My spawn will still be able to spend their Saturdays roaming aimlessly through the familiar neighborhood begging for breakfast while their mother sleeps in or paints her toenails. Whichever is the most vital for national security that week.
5. Everything stays almost as close to the same as possible. Cause I don't think we want to have a repeat of 2 years ago when we moved and I almost lost my glitter. It was more than I could stand.

So alas, I bring you the NEW HOUSE:

I know. I know. So much detail. So little time.

This is all I have for now. But I will say this....a kitchen remodel is in my near future!!! Just think...cabinets, counters, islands, appliances, cute curtains with FRINGE!! I just squealed out loud.

So go forth today. And eat some hominy in celebration of my new home.

Love,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Portuguese Architect