I am sure Indian Jones is just cringing when he reads the title of the blog. To even have anything to do with politics come out of my mouth makes him nervous. I am quite the political virgin. Yes, I am a registered voter. Yes, I voted in the last presidential campaign. Yes, I am pretty sure I messed the ballot up and my vote did not count. There were so many directions and lines and when I handed the lady my voter registration card she yelled, "WOW, this looks so new and crisp!" and I had to draw all these lines and I got all confused and voted straight ticket and then saw that there were other choices and it was in sharpie marker and I started to sweat and get dizzy and I could tell everyone was giving me a scornful stare because I was a first time voter and I might as well be like Michael Vic at a Peta convention. So I ran out of the overcrowded church crying and wailing and wondering who was Ralph Nader and should I have voted for him? And what if George Bush lost by 1 vote? It would be all my fault. I had single-handedly torn apart the very fabric of the electoral college system with my connect the dots ballot.
Well, let me first start by saying that I will be voting -- both in the primary and the "Final Episode" I am sure there are technical terms here, but my government teacher in high school let me down. I am just saying that the whole voting process is a little behind the times. They all complain that the 20 and 30 year olds are not voting. Well, I am going to just say that if they made it a little more user friendly I think they would. We are an online society. We bank online, pay our bills online, fill out SS cards online, do all our Christmas shopping online, why can we not vote online? Now I know that the presidential choice for the United States of America SHOULD be more important to us all than amazon and ebay, but if you look at the statistics.....that is all I am saying. I am all for texting my vote in this year. Like Obama is there flashing the two fingers and George Snuffleuphagus (he so reminds me of Big Bird's best friend) is saying, "If you want to vote for Obama, text 2 to the number at the bottom of the screen. Remember voting starts after the debate and is open until 11 pm EST." I am just saying, if they want more voters.....
But, I am just going to be honest here. I am an average 30 year old American woman. I am going to say the things about the candidates that a lot of people are thinking but no one wants to sound shallow and say it, well by golly...I have never minded embarrassing myself and sounding shallow, so here it goes.....
Obama -- I like him. When I saw him on Oprah he was well spoken and I love his wife, Michelle. I met her is Minneapolis and listened to her speech. It was very superficial, but it was like two girlfriends sitting down over coffee chatting about kids, our husbands, and party supplies. I liked her. His name bothers me..OBAMA...seriously, it is so like terrorist name. Just my opinion and I think some others were thinking it too. I mean who else do you know names Obama? That is all I am saying.
Clinton -- She seems like that girl in high school that would be mean to you and spread nasty rumors. I mean she just looks mean to me. I think she would bully me and try to steal my boyfriend.
Edwards -- I love his hair. Really, really great hair. His accent it a little too thick for me. I think he should work on it. It distracts me. It makes me want to drink sweet tea.
McCain -- Okay. I am just going to say it...throw it out there. Sling it into the conversation. His one check is huge. I mean like chipmunk big. And I think he either had cancer or has it or is getting it or something. But I do not hear what he is saying because I am staring at that goiter on his jaw. BUT I cannot say anything bad about a POW. I mean I have the utmost respect for him in that matter and think he is one heck of a man and patriot. I want to hug him, kiss him on his small cheek side, and tell him thank you.
Huckabee -- He is cute. He ran Arkansas. We already had someone recently from Arkansas and I think they have had their turn and should let another state try. Although I LOVE and I mean LOVE the Chuck and Huck messages. Really, it had me swayed for quite some time. I also think he values education and that makes me give him a big pink fuzzy heart with glitter!
Romney -- Okay, he is Mormon and although I do not dislike Mormons, I do know they wear purity underwear and that is kinda weird. Although there are these two Mormon teenagers who are on a mission trip here (poor kids) and come visit us every couple of weeks and I love them and they came over for dinner and they are the nicest most polite kids I have ever met. And they eat pork. BUT Romney always has these video clips on his site bashing McCain. I think that is mean and nasty... I mean he was a POW and don't you want to use your time to tell us what YOU are about instead of how bad others are?
Giuliani -- I will be honest, I had to look up how to spell his name. Okay, I like him. I know he has had like 42 wives and all but I still like him. I like how he handled 9/11 and I like his book and he seems like a strong leader. And his wife loves him, I saw it on Barbra Walters. Plus, I think he makes sense when he talks about the issues and I think he has proven himself. I do not blame him for the dirty cop thing, we could all tell he was dirty -- he had a bad man mustache. I wish Rudy would have called me, I would have told him.
I know there are other people running, but no one I know. And let's face it, if I (politically ignorant girl) have not heard of them, they ain't makin it to the finals.
Well, I am sure my dad will disown me after this post and my husband will change his last name, but I honestly think I am not the only one out there thinking these things. I am watching the debates tonight so I will write a more educated response tomorrow (maybe, kinda). Maybe, if McCain's check does not draw my attention away from the issues and Edwards does not flip that GREAT hair and Clinton does not try to spread a nasty rumor about me. We will see how it goes. You can text your vote here so I can have an unofficial poll.
Tell me your thoughts, I really can be persuaded.