I Am Having An Affair

I have been committed to these for years. I never once lusted after anything else. I loved where I was in my life and the pleasure it brought me. We were inseparable. I went no where without these. It was like we were meant for each other.

But then he started to hurt me. Slowly but surly began to stop the flow of blood to my body. I was like a prisoner in my own shoes. I did not feel sexy anymore, but just committed.

Then I was at the store and these babies caught my eye. It was innocent. I had no intention of touching, just looking. But they called to me. I thought what would be the harm of just TRYING them on. I would never leave my three inch heels for these. It was just a moment. Oh, but sweet heaven filled the air. I never realized the joy and pleasure I had been missing. I could not pull myself away. The force was too strong.

I wore these mom shoes right out the door. It was a moment that made tears come to my eyes. I know it was wrong, but I am entering a new season, I needed more. And my three inch heels could not provide it anymore.

I still loved my three inches and always will, but oh when I slipped these mom shoes on, it was like walking on a bed of pillows. Where have they been my whole life? I instantly fell in love. I forgot about my commitment to three inch heels. I slipped that ring off, batted my eyes, and said "Hello Lover-Boy Mom Shoes." Then we ran off into the sunset.

I will never forget the glory days when I use to wear my three inch spike Nine West heels (last week). Those were some good days, great memories, but that season is over. I cannot be emotionally and comfort starved any longer. Oh those precious days of wining and dining were great, but now I long for substance and support. I remember how I could walk three miles uphill both ways in the snow to school in those shoes. And oh how my calves (the ones on my legs, not in the field) were G-E-O-R-G-O-U-S. Now, I don't even shave my legs with my new mom shoes. What is the use?

Next, I will have a mom purse...and mom jeans...Oh how did this happen so quickly? My girlfriends will now look like this...

It is a new era for me. I know the neighbors will talk. But for once, it is time to do something that feels good FOR ME! I will start having a passion for polyester and a lust for Vick's Vapor Rub. I will wear knee highs with short skirts and buy granny panties that I think look sexy.

This is what I looked like this morning before work. What do you think?