Thursday, February 21, 2008

I Am Having An Affair

I have been committed to these for years. I never once lusted after anything else. I loved where I was in my life and the pleasure it brought me. We were inseparable. I went no where without these. It was like we were meant for each other.

But then he started to hurt me. Slowly but surly began to stop the flow of blood to my body. I was like a prisoner in my own shoes. I did not feel sexy anymore, but just committed.

Then I was at the store and these babies caught my eye. It was innocent. I had no intention of touching, just looking. But they called to me. I thought what would be the harm of just TRYING them on. I would never leave my three inch heels for these. It was just a moment. Oh, but sweet heaven filled the air. I never realized the joy and pleasure I had been missing. I could not pull myself away. The force was too strong.
I wore these mom shoes right out the door. It was a moment that made tears come to my eyes. I know it was wrong, but I am entering a new season, I needed more. And my three inch heels could not provide it anymore.
I still loved my three inches and always will, but oh when I slipped these mom shoes on, it was like walking on a bed of pillows. Where have they been my whole life? I instantly fell in love. I forgot about my commitment to three inch heels. I slipped that ring off, batted my eyes, and said "Hello Lover-Boy Mom Shoes." Then we ran off into the sunset.

I will never forget the glory days when I use to wear my three inch spike Nine West heels (last week). Those were some good days, great memories, but that season is over. I cannot be emotionally and comfort starved any longer. Oh those precious days of wining and dining were great, but now I long for substance and support. I remember how I could walk three miles uphill both ways in the snow to school in those shoes. And oh how my calves (the ones on my legs, not in the field) were G-E-O-R-G-O-U-S. Now, I don't even shave my legs with my new mom shoes. What is the use?

Next, I will have a mom purse...and mom jeans...Oh how did this happen so quickly? My girlfriends will now look like this...

It is a new era for me. I know the neighbors will talk. But for once, it is time to do something that feels good FOR ME! I will start having a passion for polyester and a lust for Vick's Vapor Rub. I will wear knee highs with short skirts and buy granny panties that I think look sexy.

This is what I looked like this morning before work. What do you think?

9 comments:

hope4grace said...

I dig it. I am facing reality too, in that time is marching itself right across my face and I no longer pass for my twenties......sigh......so bring on them dang uncool comfy shoes. Cause good feet are happy feet.

justgottalaugh said...

Oh my! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time-!! At least not since lunch :) When I scrolled down and saw the picture of your "friends"... I laughed so hard! Now, I couldn't walk two feet in your "old" shoes but the shoes I wear everyday are EXACTLY what you call mom-shoes, only they have the material rubbed off the toes which I've been meaning to fix with a Sharpie marker. But I always thought they were cool. I didn't know they were mom-shoes. That must say something about me. I'll never look at my shoes the same :(

Heidi said...

Ack! Your killin' me. ROTFLOL!

Kim said...

Okay, so I have my "mom" shoes on right now, and I don't even have kids. That's kinda scary!

Michelle said...

Once you wear the mommy shoes, there is no going back! Except maybe special occasions! OH! Wait! What is a special occasion?

Jennefer said...

Oh my gosh! I am laughing so hard right now!!!! The entire post is hilarious but when I saw the SNL reference to "Mom Jeans" I about fell out of my chair. Dh and I have cracked up about that skit for years!

Thanks for the smiles this morning. :)

Jennefer

Felicia said...

heheheheh hahahahha hhoho...its a slippery slope huh?

Ansbaughmom said...

You are hilarious!! Thanks for making me laugh!!

Jubilee on Earth said...

LOL -- that was hysterical!!! Great posts. I'm lovin' every one of them...
~Maria