I Was Sick, Gimme a Break

I stayed home from work yesterday due to the fact that I was as sick as a dog. I never quite understood that simile, was I comparing myself to a dog? And how sick can they actually get? Is it the worst kind of sickness cause I remember a really sick cow on our farm on time when I was a kid. So can I say ... as sick as a cow? Doesn't have the same ring to it, huh? I am just saying that I think we might be a little biased to the dog here, take it for whatever it is worth.

When I am sick I do a complete injustice of watching my kids. I basically just lay on the couch watching reruns of Seinfield and pray they do not kill one another. Yesterday was no different.

I kept hearing my eldest twerp roll this box around the house with a loud thump ... thump ... thump.
After awhile this got on my nerves and I asked her what in the samhill (is this a word?) she had in that box?
She ignored me and rolled it around a little while longer.
Soon, she stopped and this popped out...
He was a little dizzy, but nonetheless fine....No damage was done. I went back to sleep.Then it got deadly quiet in the house. The kind of peace that scares a mother of three children. The kind of silence that lets you know something is not alright. I called for the Twerps and there was no answer. This was not looking so good. I walked into the master bathroom and noticed that it smelled awful minty. Then I saw this...Toothpaste..."Who did this?" I demanded to know. No one would reply. But I noticed this on baby twerps hands...Look at this face. What do you think?