Sunday, June 15, 2008

Happy Father's Day

We had a full and busy Father's Day. Let me just say we are not big gift-buyers on holidays. It seems a little over the top for both of us. Now if you are a gift-expecter, I do not judge you, I love you, I embrace you, I gaze upon your beauty....I am just not on the same page as you. But your page might be, and probably is, better....please still be my friend.

So this Dad's Day we went to church and then ate brunch at this little local place.

First, let me say I love the term brunch. It makes me feel like I should have a diamond (or cubic zirconia in my case) on every finger and call you darling and drink a Bloody Mary and wear a boa. Yes, I love brunch. It is my favorite meal of the day and I think the Sergeant General agrees.

Second, let me say I love local joints. I love going to a locally ran place to eat. I am not a big chain lover. Again, no judgement here...I just love local joints. We have a local farmer's market here on Tuesday mornings...be still my beating heart.

So here is the local Whistle Stop...everybody who is anybody eats here...that is why we were here. I think we will be getting kicked out though. Shh...don't tell.
Indiana Jones and his Twerps ordered breakfast...not me though...
Hello Lover. We ended up taking some to go....
Then we headed out to the park...We had to chase Baby Twerp down.
Can anyone guess what he wanted to ride????
We chased him away from the tractor until we were plumb worn out...then nap time.
When we awoke from our beauty sleep we decided to go swimming. Now let me just have a moment with this swimming issue, can I...please? Oh, purty please? YES! I will be brief...I promise...kinda. Sorta...as brief as I can be.

When we moved here I was not too worried cause I know I would just spend most of my days at the pool. Eldest Twerp is part fish...cod I think... and Middle Twerp wears one of those life vests that makes him look like he is a bodybuilder. Ya know what I am talking about? I make Indiana Jones wear one at night....Oh don't you dare judge me, you know you want to ask your hubby to also.

Anyways, we had no pool in our subdivision.

I gasped and cried and picked myself up and started looking for a community pool. There were two within 20 minutes. Both only were open to the public from 2 pm - 5 pm. That did not work for us.

So we joined the YMCA. They have open swim from 10 am - 11 am everyday....and it is an indoor pool. First, that does not help me with my tan. Second, I have to be within an arms reach of ALL my children at ALL times. And they let me know this quite firmly...three times. I was scolded at the Y. Can anyone relate to how difficult it is to be within arms reach of all three children at once? Especially when one had a server allergy to water? See, they would not listen.

So I left like a little girl in trouble and cried and prayed I would become ElastiGirl so my arms would stretch and then I could show them....YEAH.

So this leaves me with one choice and one choice only....

The Lake of Heaven.

But I really, really, really, REALLY need a boat. So I started working my magic. Trying to schmooze and network with the boaters. Here was my first attempt. They called the police. I moved on to the Party Boat...they held me under water. You think they were trying to tell me something? If they just get to know me they will like me...really, just give me a chance.
So, I talked to these sweet kind peeps. They must have not seen me cause there is no WAY they tried to run over me on PURPOSE...right?
So I went and sat down and pouted for a few minutes. We were having fun in the sun...but please notice Baby Twerp was no where near the water due to the fact he might swell up the size of a marsh mellow and DIE...
And of course we have not gotten him his EpiPen yet for that darn water allergy.
I was encouraging and persuading and then...then... I took the money and ran...Oh Oh Oh...Go on... Look...LOOK...Our feet are in the water! And we are not MELTING!
I thought we might want to float on the shark, but we would have NO part of this atrocious idea at all. What was I thinking? Fun + Water = Mental Illness
I continued to walk deeper and deeper..and then...
I saw this precious little girl with just her eyes showing...
"Hello sweetie." And she blinked...long and hard.
"Uhm, are you okay sweetie?" Then she grabbed on with all her might...and let me tell you she was one little gladiator. She has definitely been doing more than sipping tea with Tupelo Honey at the YMCA. She just about took me down. Seriously, she clawed and clung to me like no body's business. And let's just say I am SO glad I was in the lake so no one could tell I totally peed my pants.
And Baby Twerp was none too happy either...I think he peed too....cause my side got REALLY warm...just look how far he was in the water. This is record breaking.
I made it to shore safe and sound. But someone please teach me step one: how to save a life.

The Fray, anyone?

7 comments:

spanki said...

looks like you had a great day! i got stuck babysitting the kids so he could ride circles all day! sure, bring the twerps on over, it's free admission and keeps them entertained all day!! we'll go get pedicures!!

Scrappy Girl said...

I had dinner at my in laws. I would much rather be splashing at the lake! No fair!

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

rule #1 - while in water with own Twerp..do not extend arm to KlingON ..rule #2.do not look so good in bathing suit that ladies cross the country will be cursing the day you were born. rule #3.. show self with at least one bad hair day to appease aforementioned ladies rule #4..keep blogging..this is funny! what the heck was that redlooking mush on the plate with those beans at the "Whistle Stop?"

Pony Girl said...

Was baby twerp crying in that last photo? Or laughing? Or pushing that little girl's head down?! ;)
Love the Fray...good song. Was it in Grey's Anatomy? They play all the good music first. Then it always reminds me of a sad episode, lol!

Dreams of a Country Girl said...

Kelso -- Meatloaf...precious and holy meatloaf...Excuse me, I need a moment.

Working Mom said...

1. Do people look at you weird for taking pictures of your food? I want to do it but I'm afraid of people pointing and laughing.
2. Did MT just walk out carrying a plate-size pancake? LOLOLOL
3. Saving a drowning child with one strapped on your hip, and STILL smiling with great hair! You are so the bomb dot com!!

Jen said...

I agree with elso on all of the above. You always look great. Especially in a bathing suit. Me in a suit that is scary. Keep blogging. You are funny.