I Need You Now, More Than Words Can Say!

How about a little Firehouse? Cause I need you desperately. I have no ability to make a decision of my own and I must decide. This is a HUGE life altering decision..the rudder that could steer me on a path of deliverance or destruction (I have a flare for the dramatic) and I cannot make it all by my lonesome-dove self because it causes me to throw up...but just a little. I think decisions are hard for me because I really truly honestly like so many things. I feel like the all powerful team captain at basketball picking from the line of kids along the cinder block wall. Who am I to chose who gets picked first and who has to wait last? How can I determine which should be valued over the next? I cannot HANDLE this kind of pressure.

I try to see the beauty in all things -- even nuts. I feel like if I don't like something I might hurt its feeling and cause it to have self esteem issues and need therapy. And let me be the first to say, I think I encompass these characteristics enough and do not need to transfer these flaws to anyone else -- especially these couches in which I MUST decide upon. I accept them for who they are -- but I can only take one home. Help me choose, please -- I beseech you dear brethren.

Just look at this beauty. Doesn't this say I am chic and hip and clean. Whoa Nelly, I have three Twerps that habitually have dirt and chocolate and worms on their faces and one who is a bed wetter. Can you imagine them on this furniture? I think that seals the deal. But let's for a minute dream of me lounging on this having my cabana boy feed me grapes while fanning me with palm leaves. Oh for the love of sweet Jesus, I am so taking out a loan. Do you think it comes with a cabana boy? Can his name be Enrique? And can I wear a crown, just for kicks? I kid. I kid. -- Kinda. Just look at this. Hello Lover. Doesn't this scream Mink Coat? I so would never wear a mink coat, and I so would never own this chair with a price of $4k, but a girl can dream can't she?
This had some potential, but in brown (she chair below) and minus the pillows, but don't you think it is too sharp? I don't know why, but I see this and think of a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils or a room of people running with scissors. As you can obviously reason, this couch cannot be done. It is unsafe.

My sale's associate told me this was THE couch to have. Please notice the reversible cushions and THIS year's color of robin's egg blue. I like the color, but I think fragile. Did he say EGG? And it also makes me feel lonely. I think this couch is too independent for me. I cannot explain these things, I can only tell you like I see it. Uhm, I like this one....Why? Cause I love pillows and it has some leather, but not overpowering and it has red. I love red. But not bold red, more of a brick red...I have no clue what I am saying! It also has reversible cushions, but I think it is too much on the paisley side. And it is a SLEEPER sofa, which I love for those nights Indiana Jones kicks me out of bed.

I really just wanted a SIMPLE plain brown couch and then I could buy pillows. Simple. How hard is that? Well let me tell you, furniture stores no longer believe in simple. This is impossible to find. Everything either has edging or tassels or toile or texture or other large words I don't remember. This was also an option, minus the pillows. But at the end of the day it said bulldog or possibly pug to me. Look, again I have no clue why they yell these things to me. I am NOT making this up. Now I love bulldogs and pugs, but in a couch? I would rather it say Golden Retriever.
So what do they say to you? What do you think? Please vote?

1. Cabana Boy?

2. Mink Coat?

3. Bouquet of sharpened pencils?

4. Robin's Egg?

5. Brick Red Sleeper?

6. Bull Dog?

7. You have horrible taste and need to hire an interior decorator named Jose and do whatever he says.

8. Amen