Saturday, June 14, 2008

Walking on Sunshine

I know I am suppose to be posting about my new obsession, but I just can't today cause something happened. Something life-altering and totally OUT OF THE BLUE. Wanna know what it was? Cause you know I detailed it in photos cause I am a freak of nature like that, but please still love me. Cause I need you.

Well Lawd Have Mercy On My Sweet Precious Soul! You will NEVER guess what happened to me last night! Go ahead guess, I'll wait.
  • I auditioned for American Idol and won? Ha Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho Hee Hee Hee Giggle Giggle Snort....Nope
  • I am pregnant? AHHHHHHHHHH.. Nope, Hail Mary Sweet Mother of Jesus
  • I got a pop up trailer? Naw..I that would be too classy for me.
  • I learned how to sew a button? Nah....I just buy new pants.
  • I got a hernia? Oh gross, why would you say something like that? (I really don't know exactly what one is.)
  • I picked my cuticles? Yes, but that is not it....
Okay, let's start from the beginning, shall we? I went to the Y yesterday cause that is my new hang out and I think I might be the next American Gladiator if I keep up this rigorous schedule. BUT, I woke up and pulled my hair back and took the Twerps to swim at the YMCA. I looked awful....notice Exhibit A below. This is Country Girl after a full day of swimming, McDonald's Play Place time, and the rigors of laundry and unpacking..and a little nap. I was preparing for supper and Indiana Jones was on his way home. It was 7:00 pm. I was a mess....supper was on the table...we were all waiting...but then.......but then...BUT THEN...the phone rang and the heavens burst forth in jubilees and Indiana Jones said, "I have a babysitter coming at 7:45, get your dancing shoes on cause we are going out." Well, I had to pick myself up off the floor and change my panties and mop the puddle up cause I was that excited. Then, I looked in the mirror and saw this...AWWW. And I threw up.
I fed my kids the tacos on the table in 5.72 minutes and cleaned up by throwing everything in the refrigerator just as is. Then, I ran upstairs throwing my cloths off like a woman on fire and wondering how many miracles my make-up could perform in 35 minutes. Not enough.
I had to have a shower cause I was like GROSS-O! Totally GROSS-O. So I jumped in and even performed the hideous sacrilegious ritual we woman do as we try to lure in the opposite sex...I did a tango with my razor and came out half bloody, but smooth. I snapped this photo, but had to crop it a smiggen....I guess I was a little too excited, and I caught IJ in the background hopping in the shower. He was not a happy camper. Giggle Giggle Snort. I guess I almost shared a little too much. So we are at 7:17 and counting. Look at what I have to work with here peeps.
Blow dry hair....7:28...and it is still not dry!!! AHHHH!
Finish drying....7:32...Lord please send your angels round me so I can look purty for IJ in less than 15 minutes.
Make-up on....CURL...CURL...CURL....7:40 pm
And what can make this a little better? Oh, you guessed it. Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers....Heavenly. Ta Da ...7:44 and the door bell rings...Hello Babysitter.... Lover of my Soul Baby Twerp went into an immediate melt down....
Followed by Middle Twerp. A good mother would would stay and console...and mediocre mother would reaffirm and sneak out.
I ran to the car and locked the doors. This was the first time in over a month I had not had a child in the car with me. I was silent.
Indina Jones drove to this hip hop happen local joint on the lake. It was PERFECT!We had to wait at the bar and Brian the Bartender was the sweetest thang to me since Sweet n Low. He made me this special concoction.It was the yummiest thing since the manna from heaven. I wrote down the recipe cause I am a totally geek like that. The we got our table outside and it was PERFECT!!! I thought how can this get any better....then...then...THEN BY GOLLY...
They brought me this.....Be still my beating heart. I am pretty sure they were for me to share....but...
I inhaled them all in 4.4 seconds. Burp.
And then what to my wondrous eyes did appear, but heaven on earth as oysters on a half shell. I could not contain my excitement.
Nor did I share. BURP!!!! How could it get any better? Well let me tell you. The sweetest couple that we meet at the bar picked up our tab as a "welcome to our state and thanks for serving our country" message. I love them there peeps.

Next we meandered downstairs to find this....
KARAOKE night. Can life get any better? I began working the room and making me some friends. First I met her...She is married to a geek and says geeks make the best lovers...and she has a smile as big as her personality.
Then I met her and she had the cutest dress in the world and we are now BFFs.
And her...her...she has 2 kids and a southern drawl and a heart the size of Texas...and I love her. We sang, and laughed, and sang, and danced, and laughed some more.
Can you guess the songs we sang? Come on...this is easy...Go for it....

And this is me this morning...the night after my big adventures....4.7 seconds after I woke up....looks like I will be starting all over again...AHHHH.

14 comments:

Jen said...

okay whatever, I would never take pictures of myself 4.7 seconds after I woke up. That would be very scary. You look great as usual.

Jen said...

okay whatever, I would never take pictures of myself 4.7 seconds after I woke up. That would be very scary. You look great as usual.

Sada said...

When i grow up, I want to be just like you -- beautiful and CRAZY! You are so fun! P.S. thanks for the comment on my page :)

Working Mom said...

Let me get this straight. IJ got a babysitter all on his own?? Husbands can do that???? I have been misled!!

I think you sang the following, in no particular order:
"Summer Lovin"
"Talk Dirty to Me"
"Goodbye Earl"
"I Will Survive"
'Cause that's what I would sing.

And then the DJ played The Humpty Dance and Baby Got Back and you got out there and shook your groove thang.
'Cause that's what I would do.

No you did not eat oysters! YUCK!!!

ptamom3 said...

Looks like you had a blast-- I could have done without the oyster pics (Not my style), but anyway, glad you got the much needed night out! I wish I could go up to strangers that easily and have such a great time. I'm working on it :) You'll have to email me and let me know the part of the state you are in- wondering if I'm anywhere close by... (tamrac96@wavetel.us).

Dreams of a Country Girl said...

A few hints cause I love you all...

1. Left a Good Job in the City

2. So tell me Hank, why do you drink?

3. Van Morrison....Anyone? Anyone?

Working Mom said...

1. CCR or Ike & Tina?

2. Only the best song Jr. ever sang!

3. Do you have brown eyes?

PS - just read up on some IJ archives after wondering what branch of service he was in... THANK YOU IJ!!!!
My bro is Indiana National Guard, I have a friend and a cousin over in the big sandbox now and 2 on their way this summer. =(

Dreams of a Country Girl said...

Ike and Tina

Yep...a crowd pleaser

That Van Morrison song was my sorority song in college.

But for all those who DO NOT KNOW...My eyes are GREEN. Nothing but GREEN! No flecks or specks of blue or no browed eyed girl here....only green gizzard guts.

Working Mom said...

i'm a green eyed girl myself!

Scrappy Girl said...

I LOVED reading about your fun night. I can totally empathize with you about making new friends in a new town. Through hubby's school years we have moved 8 times.

Kim said...

I'm so glad you had a good time! You deserve it!
By the way - you are gorgeous after swimming, gorgeous all dolled up and gorgeous 4.7 seconds after waking up!

I just put a hold deposit on the greatest chair in the world. I'm posting about it later - come see!

Sandel said...

How fun, I felt like I was there!! If my hubby called the sitter, that would be romance enough :) Great memories you guys are making.

Anonymous said...

ha... The Bracht children are no longer "the babysitters" lol

-Cass

Pony Girl said...

Looks like you had a blast!! Aren't spontaneous nights the best? Fun little place on the lake, too!
Oooh, where did you get the cool brown cowgirl shirt you wore at the beginnin' of the post?