Well Lawd Have Mercy On My Sweet Precious Soul! You will NEVER guess what happened to me last night! Go ahead guess, I'll wait.
- I auditioned for American Idol and won? Ha Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho Hee Hee Hee Giggle Giggle Snort....Nope
- I am pregnant? AHHHHHHHHHH.. Nope, Hail Mary Sweet Mother of Jesus
- I got a pop up trailer? Naw..I that would be too classy for me.
- I learned how to sew a button? Nah....I just buy new pants.
- I got a hernia? Oh gross, why would you say something like that? (I really don't know exactly what one is.)
- I picked my cuticles? Yes, but that is not it....
I fed my kids the tacos on the table in 5.72 minutes and cleaned up by throwing everything in the refrigerator just as is. Then, I ran upstairs throwing my cloths off like a woman on fire and wondering how many miracles my make-up could perform in 35 minutes. Not enough.
I had to have a shower cause I was like GROSS-O! Totally GROSS-O. So I jumped in and even performed the hideous sacrilegious ritual we woman do as we try to lure in the opposite sex...I did a tango with my razor and came out half bloody, but smooth. I snapped this photo, but had to crop it a smiggen....I guess I was a little too excited, and I caught IJ in the background hopping in the shower. He was not a happy camper. Giggle Giggle Snort. I guess I almost shared a little too much. So we are at 7:17 and counting. Look at what I have to work with here peeps.
Blow dry hair....7:28...and it is still not dry!!! AHHHH!
Finish drying....7:32...Lord please send your angels round me so I can look purty for IJ in less than 15 minutes.
Make-up on....CURL...CURL...CURL....7:40 pm
And what can make this a little better? Oh, you guessed it. Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers....Heavenly. Ta Da ...7:44 and the door bell rings...Hello Babysitter.... Lover of my Soul Baby Twerp went into an immediate melt down....
Followed by Middle Twerp. A good mother would would stay and console...and mediocre mother would reaffirm and sneak out.
I ran to the car and locked the doors. This was the first time in over a month I had not had a child in the car with me. I was silent.
Indina Jones drove to this hip hop happen local joint on the lake. It was PERFECT!We had to wait at the bar and Brian the Bartender was the sweetest thang to me since Sweet n Low. He made me this special concoction.It was the yummiest thing since the manna from heaven. I wrote down the recipe cause I am a totally geek like that. The we got our table outside and it was PERFECT!!! I thought how can this get any better....then...then...THEN BY GOLLY...
They brought me this.....Be still my beating heart. I am pretty sure they were for me to share....but...
I inhaled them all in 4.4 seconds. Burp.
And then what to my wondrous eyes did appear, but heaven on earth as oysters on a half shell. I could not contain my excitement.
Nor did I share. BURP!!!! How could it get any better? Well let me tell you. The sweetest couple that we meet at the bar picked up our tab as a "welcome to our state and thanks for serving our country" message. I love them there peeps.
Next we meandered downstairs to find this....
KARAOKE night. Can life get any better? I began working the room and making me some friends. First I met her...She is married to a geek and says geeks make the best lovers...and she has a smile as big as her personality.
Then I met her and she had the cutest dress in the world and we are now BFFs.
And her...her...she has 2 kids and a southern drawl and a heart the size of Texas...and I love her. We sang, and laughed, and sang, and danced, and laughed some more.
Can you guess the songs we sang? Come on...this is easy...Go for it....