Baby Twerp Has Something To Say...

I woke Baby Twerp up this morning by saying, Momma is leaving. If you wanna go with me you need to get up.

When I got out of the bathroom he was completely dressed and waiting on the steps. His worst fear is to be be without me...I love this kid. As soon as we pulled in the parking lot he started this whining and crying thang and repeating, I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. Where he got any of this I don't have the slightest clue. But he had this totally panicked look on his face.
Then he pulled this face out and it makes my heart tug and puts me in a trance. It is like the Jedi Mind Trick for Baby Twerp..and it works every time.
When we got into the room he sat very still and surveyed the joint...he was not trusting this place no matter what. He knew those toys were just a distraction for the pain that was surely to come.
Then he looked over at me and said, OK, I was good. Let's go home. Too bad for him I can only understand 67.3% of what he says so I did not listen and looked the other way. Avoidance works so well for me.

Now here is the outcome. Since I am obsessed with speech and hearing and Eustachian tubes and inner ear canals and frontage speech and phonics and phenoms and the price of tea in China right now, I will go into MUCH more detail than any homo sapian would ever want to read.

Therefore, I HIGHLY encourage you to scroll to the bottom this insane post and read the last line. This will enable you to have time to do things more appealing like scrubbing behind the eighth grade boys' locker room urinals. Yes, this would be better than reading my ramblings. So go forth...now...I am warnin ya.

Baby Twerps issues lie with articulation and his mother, but the speech path could only solve the articulation part today. His vocabulary and comprehension are just fine. This is so good to know so now when I yell out, Baby Twerp go out and dig a pit in the backyard and call a pool company to come insert a shell and fill it up and get he chemical levels right then come wake me up...I know he is just having SELECTIVE HEARING, cause she said his vocab and comprehension are just fine...so no more fooling me Baby Twerp. I got your number.

Well, we tested his articulation of SINGLE WORDS and he scored 2 years 10 months. Baby Twerp will be 2 years 11 months next week. So, he is right on...HOWEVER...the issue is not articulation of single words, but rather when those words get strung together to create sentences. So, he is not having problems with one word at a time but sentences....uhm, which can be an issue unless I want him to talk like Rain Man the rest of his life.

There apparently is no test for multiple word articulation, but she would guess he is less than six months behind...which is really good news.

Although we can only guess, we figure his hearing has been blocked/compromised for the past six months and while he can hear, we was not hearing to his full capacity. Therefore, some words were not being understood -- specifically, some sounds. Like the sound of...SHHHHH. He for sure could not hear that sound.

Now that he can hear just fine, she feels like he will catch up pretty quickly, but is referring him for speech therapy once a week -- without me -- Have I mentioned he is attached to me by the umbilical cord they forgot to cut a birth?

She feels VERY optimistic that we caught this early on. Usually 2 years 6 months is the EARLIEST anyone can detect it and she was impressed I noticed. Uhm, have I mentioned he is still attached to me via the umbilical cord? And that I am a paranoid mom and notice everything?

What? What did you say? I have three kids? Well, when did that happen?

ALERT ALERT
If you are just scrolling down to get the main point...read below...

...and then she handed me the water gun and said, I think the Wicked Witch of the West would approve...go ahead.

Well, that about sums it up. Aren't you glad you did not read that whole thing?