The Zoo Is Hard On My Self Esteem

This boy has been beggin and pleadin to go to the zoo. And Middle Twerp has had it tough with the move and all. We use to spend at least one day a week at the zoo in Oklahoma...where the wind comes sweepin down the plains....but now in this new town we have not been once...and tell me one person who could possibly say no to these eyes.So we went. And at every exhibit Middle Twerp would look at me and say what he thought to be the sweetest compliment out there...Oooohh, look mom...it looks like you. It started off marginal, but progressively got worse. Let's take a look, shall we?

It started off with the Komodoo Dragon...Ooohh, look mom...it looks like you. Hmmm, maybe he was talking about the long gorgeous nails...GASP...OR...Do you think he was possibly talking about the neck? Does my neck resemble this? Am I starting to get the gobble neck going on? Oh Lo'd have mercy. Then we saw this little sucker and yet again, OOOOhhh mom, he looks like you...There is no other explanation for this other than he has been watching me and Margie do our Silver Sneakers Yoga -- little twerp.Next came this graceful animal and yet again he pointed out the resemblance. I asked for specifics this time and he said the legs...OKAY OKAY....We have all established my papaw bird legs and my self esteem does not need this brought up...I need meds. Next we visited the elephants and sure enough the same words came out of Middle Twerp's mouth...Ohhh mom, he looks like you. Someone please tell me how this can be a compliment? Do you think it is the crow's feet? I am so getting my eyes lasered. Or could it be the belly flab...I cannot endure this much longer. Onward we went to see the precious panda cubs. They were young and vibrant and cute and cuddly. I leaned over to Middle Twerp and asked with a smile on my face..Now do THESE remind you of momma?''Uhmmmm...noooo.'' he said giggling. We are so going home. Then he leaned over and gave me big old smooches and said,

You are prettier...kinda. That is SO almost like a compliment. Kinda.
And home we went....tuckered out and needing therapy.