Thursday, August 14, 2008

Further Proof Middle Twerp Needs To Go To School

I beseech you dear brethren to turn now from your wicked ways and close down this blog. I warn you with the alerts of bells and whistles and sirens equivalent to a nuclear holocaust. I beg you to run, run as fast as you can...run to your mama and papas and uncle and aunts to the coconut tree. {Name those two books.}

What you are about to see in not appropriate for children under 12 or those of the XY chromosomal pattern. Trust me -- I beg of you to stop now while you still think I am innocent and sweet and wear panty hose on Sundays and am like a merchant ship bringing my food from afar. That is what you think of me right? Don't answer that.

I came downstairs last night to check on Middle Twerp cause he had been awful quiet for an awful long time which usually equals awful things in our house....like pink glitter fingernail polish on my white Banana Republic skirt or permanent markers on my Pottery Barn blanket or all my Sephoria painted on the wall. Hypothetically speaking of course.
But I walked down the stairs to notice him playing with his dinosaurs and some paper....let's take a closer look, shall we?
What in the world is that stuff. I go start supper and come back to an even closer look which identifies his scheming plot.
Oh Lord have mercy on my soul. We need to bump that therapy up to three times a weeks now.
And I think we can all come to a consensus that homeschooling is not the right thang for me.
I am so ashamed. So ashamed that I posted in on the web for all to see...and of course these will reappear at his Sweet Sixteen birthday party too. Amen.

21 comments:

Just The Girl said...

OMG!! I am laughing so hard I can not even type this...hehehehehe

CindyDianne said...

LOL! ROFL! MYFAO! and all those other abbreviations for busting a gut and spewing coffee through my nose!

Hysterical.

Wendy said...

ROFL!!!! That is hilarious!! :D

Dana Jones said...

He is a genius! He really thinks outside the... tube!

bakerchick103 said...

That is the funniest thing I've ever seen! I started laughing and my 4 year old comes running in and says" What?! What is it?" I say honey you just wouldn't understand. I just cant get over this!!

Jenn said...

What a creative little guy! I'm totally cracking up at work......and people are looking at me funny. :-]

The Rose Fam said...

OMG!!! My posts are soooo BORING!!! No wonder I have NO visitors! I need my boys to play with tampons! Tee~Hee!!! So funny!

The Rose Fam said...

OMG!!! My posts are soooo BORING!!! No wonder I have NO visitors! I need my boys to play with tampons! Tee~Hee!!! So funny!

Kila said...

LOL!

Don't worry, I know more than a few moms who have found their boys playing with those, and/or had pads stuck all over them, LOL.

I enjoy your blog so much that there is something sparkly for you at my place. :)

Bekah said...

haha oh my word. nice!

3SonsAreMyLove said...

How nice that MT is supplying his dinos with their own personal floatation devices! You can tell he was well educated on safety at the beach this summer!

Becky :) said...

Holy Cow I can't stop laughing. That is hilarious!!! He's mighty smart how he used them.

Treasia said...

How very funny Middle Twerp is. I laughed so hard when I finally recognized what the pictures were.

Beki said...

Now there is something I never considered using them for.

Laura B. said...

Oh my...that is absolutely hysterical! Did he ask you what they were or did you ask him what he used them for? I'd love to hear his answer!

Chris said...

I totally think he needs to be in charge of decorating the Christmas tree this year.

Cindy said...

What more could a girl ask for than tastefully decorated dinosaurs artfully arranged by the hearth! Tooooooo funny!

theotherblonde said...

WHAT on God's green earth was he trying to make for his dinos with those! OMG ROFL -

Working Mom said...

i am just proud that he utilized every aspect of the tampon and that he obviously cares about the dinosaurs safety. the applicator has been fashioned into a sheath to protect the horns, and the tampon itself is neatly tied around the legs, neck and tail as flotation devices, as dana said. all bases are covered. nothing short of genius.

even if you aren't blogging 12 years from now, you HAVE to email me and tell me his reaction when he finds out what they really are. now don't forget!

Kristin said...

OMG, I am laughing so hard ! I love your blog..

Sandel said...

Definitely he gets his mothers creativity.