Friday, August 8, 2008

Mortification Memoir

While at a church picnic this past week, I was trying to be my normal social self. Moving to a new house in a new city in a new state in a new time zone can be a little difficult so I thought I would rub some elbow with the locals and get to know some peeps.

While on my third trip through the food line [for the twerps of course], I saw a man wearing a blue polo shirt with the initials NASA embroidered in red in the upper left corner.

So in an attempt to strike up a conversation, I motioned to his embroidered initials and said, ''So, you an astronaut?''

He just looked back at me with a confused look and said, ''Uhm, no.''

As I made a mad dash to the green bean casserole I just blurted out with a nervous laugh, ''Well, ya never know.''

Wow, these peeps have NO HUMOR.

Now fast forward to Sunday at church. I was checking Baby Twerp into his class which is the equivalent in his mind of throwing him into a vat of acid. After dropping him off, I nestled myself around the corner, so I could see if he would soon stop crying and suddenly found myself in the middle of two men having a conversation

As I stood there, I could not help but over hear Gentleman 1 tell Gentleman 2 about the funniest thing that happened at the picnic last week.

Gentleman 1 -- You will never believe this. Last week at the picnic, a girl came up to me and asked me if I was an astronaut.

I looked the other way and gulped. [But I almost had to say something over the ... A girl? He called me A GIRL?]

Gentleman 2 -- Really? Why would she think that?

Well, tell him about the NASA shirt Mr. Funny.

Gentleman 1-- Well, I didn't figure it out until I got home and took off my North Atlantic Soccer Assocation shirt.

Then they both did some knee slappin belly laughin.

My twerps are so playing baseball.

15 comments:

bakerchick103 said...

I'm sitting laughing my wide rearend off over this. You are a woman after my own heart. I do things like this all the time! Whoda thunk there was more that one NASA?

CindyDianne said...

Oh my. See, I thought things like this only happen to me!

Hope4Grace said...

I'm cringing for you! But I would have totally done it too.

theotherblonde said...

Well,..good for you for trying! I would be in the corner sucking my thumb until someone invited me out!

candidreflections said...

that's funny! so something I would have done... don't stop there though! When you pass him in the hall next, try throwing him a line like this, "Hey Rocket Man, how're your dribbling skills?" or..."did you make the team yet?" ;)

Nicole Mc said...

Wouldn't it have been better if he said, "this really hot chick asked me if I was an astronaut..." That would have made your day huh??

Working Mom said...

fa-reakin' hilarious!!!!!!!!!!

cynthia said...

girl, you are so funny!
i would have thought the same.

Jennifer said...

If it didn't happen at CHURCH, I would say he was member of well-know mensa group......"South Team Under Pride In Dixie".........

Paige said...

That is EXACTLY the thing that makes me never call anyone by name or look at them directly--

oy it hurts just to read this!

feather k said...

Only you, my friend...only you... :)

georgie said...

That is sooooooo funny! I just adore your blog

Dana Jones said...

that sort of cinches the deal on the sports question. Baseball it is!

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

NASA: you could've said "well i should have knowed yew was 2 ig-no-rant to be an astronaut" but then you'd have to find another sunday school. ooooh you are still a girl! rock on CG! and sounds like NASA boys is still thinking 'bout you!

Queen of Everything said...

...what we greatly fear will come upon us...LOL