Thursday, January 22, 2009

I Have No Idea What To Name This Cause I Am A Nerd. A Skanky Italian Nerd.

I have a lot of hair. Like a crazy amount of hair. I am part Italian. I am only kidding. About the Italian part. Not the hair part. I really do have a lot of hair. And I do like a good meatball sub. But I am not Italian. Probably.

Anyhoo, I washed my hair at the hotel this morning. Which all seems normal to a normal human being. But I think we have established I am not normal. One of the many many reasons is due to the fact that I do not wash my hair everyday. Or even every other day. Cause I am skanky like that and all.

Hello, my name is Country Girl and I am a skanky Italian.

Not really.

Well, kinda.

But just a little.

Anyhoo, I washed my hair only to realize I was a little behind the eight ball. A little under the gun. A little crunched for time. Ya know what I am sayin?

So I started to try to figure out some time savin ideas.

At first I thought maybe I could start a little Towel-Turban fad.
But I was afraid I would get gunned down for stealin one of those hotel towels.

Then I moved on to the only other alternative out there - the 80's Madonna Rat's Nest.
Then I was afraid birds might take nest in my hair on my way to my meeting.

So I broke down and decided to blow it dry.

(Yes, I am talkin to my imaginary friends in this pic. It happens often. Please don't judge me.)This took 8,421 hours. Cause the hotel hair dryer was engineered for a rogaine patient. And this is quite possibly the most pathetic post I have ever written in my life. I apologize, but it is all those gamma rays from the HOURS under the dryer. Take Me To Your Leader.

Love Your Skanky-Italian, But Ever-Friendly Neighborhood,


feather k said...

yes those hotel dryers are made for baldies...but on a side may have had more time if you werent taking pictures :)

Lynette said...

No see if this was the 80's you could wear a HUGE bow off on the side somewhere and cover up like 70% of your hair with it, then you would only have had 30% left to worry about!

Sarah said...

I vote go with an 80's look. My sweetie bought me a gift tonight, a 3 cd set of 80's music from target. I'm loving it. So go 80's & I'll play my cd's for you.

Beki said...

glad I am not the only one that is half italian in the hair department. I only wash my hair twice a week if it makes you feel any better.

Jessica said...

Never trust that a hotel will have a decent almost never happens.

edie said...

Caiti and I are falling in the floor laughing.

Lo said...

hahahahahahha!!!! oh man girl. my hair is long, for some reason it grows freakishly fast, and my hair ALWAYS GETS CAUGHT in those damn blow dryers. i try my best but, to no avail. so i avoid them at all costs. and i too do not wash my hair everyday. it's bad for tha hair i tells ya!!!!! oh also? i'm blonde blue eyed and part italian. yes. tis true. :)

Jenn said...

I seriously can't do the washing your hair every couple days. I know it's bad to wash EVERY day, but it drives me in.sane. if I don't wash it. And my hair is nasty if I go a day without it - that only happens when we're camping and I can throw it in a pony tail. I can't do that at work....people would look at my funny and not be my friend anymore. Must wash every day.

TeamG - News said...

Oh my gosh- this post just cracks me up! The 80s Madonna rat nest, the hairdryer for rogaine patients - all of it. It just cracked my funny bone and you're not a weird skanky Italian - I can't wash my hair daily either - my beauticians always said the style of your hair holds best with a smidge of real life in it - some hairspray, products, etc.

From your skanky non-Italian, a little Irish/English/Native American friend.

Molly said...

I used to be so particular aboutmy "wig" because my mama does hair and all but now that I am marrued and let myself as my sister told me the other day I only do my hair 2 days out of the week sat and sun. Sat because we go places and ilike to look pretty for my man HEHE and Sun because i can't wear a rats nest to church. Have a great weekend!!!
~Molly P