The Ten Lessons of 2008

This year has probably been the hardest year of my life. I have had more transitions IN my life and in myself. I have discovered many things about myself - some encouraging, many disappointing.

1. You are the biggest influencer in your kids' lives.
After the move to my new house in my new city in the new state in the new time zone, I soon realized my attitude was contagious. My outlook on our move and our life was directly mirrored in my children. If I was excited about opportunity, they were too. If I was depressed about another day alone, they soon chimed in. I could lead them down the path to success or rejection based on my attitude.

2. You set the tone for the day.
I realized my morning attitude became my kids' attitude. I truly had to take the attitude that my footsteps were not by chance or by accident. But that I would be at the right place doing the right things at the right time. I would be purposeful in my actions. Of course, you could not tell me this when I pulled the sheets over my face some summer mornings and refused to get out of bed. Or when I drowned my sorrows at the lake where no one could see my tears and thought my red face was a sun burn. But however regardless of my avoidance, I set the tone for the entire day - not only for myself, but for three others.

3. Sometimes when you get what you want, you realize you never wanted it.
I wanted to be a stay at home mom, homeschool, make my own bread, and bake cookies from scratch. When we moved to Georgia I settled in to my new home and began my excel sheets of lesson plans and started my recipe folder of homemade meals. And then, slowly but surely, I realized this was not workin for me. And the harder I tried, the more I struggled. Which leads me to #4.

4. You should not feel guilty for wanting to be you.
In my mind a "good" mom is one that stays home and packs lunches and bakes cupcakes for school parties and heads up fundraisers and keeps the house clean. I am not this woman. And I morned the fact that I could not be her. It took me almost 6 months to realize that NOT being her was okay. Being me was better. And what was good for others might not always be good for me. It took me a long time to not judge myself through someone else's eyes.

5. A good cry can make you feel better.
I feel every emotion 100%. I was the kid who used all my 48 count crayons equally as to not hurt any color's feelings. I cried at all AT&T commercials and chose white milk at lunch instead of chocolate like everyone else. I didn't want the white milk to not feel accepted. I cry at sad movies. I cry at happy movies. I cry at disappointments. I cry at successes. I feel others' pain and cry. I feel others' joy and cry. I cry at funerals for people I never met. I cry at births for babies I will never hold. I CRY. And I use to be very embarrassed over wearing my heart of my sleeve. But now, I let it go. Cause sometimes, as good cry is all you can do.

6. Someone believing in you is worth more than your weight in gold.
There is no better feeling in the world. Cherish it if you have it. Pass it on regardless. Because the more you believe in others, the more they will prove you right.

7. Your best days are ahead of you.
Hope. There is always hope.

8. When you don't know what to do, GIVE.
Life is full of uncertainties. Full of changes. Full of randomness. But when everything is chaotic, when nothing seems to be certain, when I have no clue what to do. There is one thing that will never be wrong. One thing that will never be ineffective. And that is to GIVE. Because you know what I know? No one has ever become poor from giving. I do not think of giving as a duty, but as a privilege. And I am honored.

9. At the end of the day life is only about one thing: OTHERS.
Henry Ford once said, "To do more for the world than it does for you - that is success."
Oh how I hope I taste success. How I hope that I can enable someone to have better days.

10. You can find the sweetest, most accepting people in the most unexpected places. Serendipity. And you, my friends, inspire me - challenge me - love me - and grow me daily. And I am blessed to have you.

Thanks for making me better.

Big pink fuzzy heart with glitter,
Country Girl