Monday, March 9, 2009

Swim Lessons Part II -- Electric Boogaloo - The Real Reason

Yes, there were people in the dressing room.
Yes, they were looking at us.
Yes, I asked them to take the picture.
Yes, they acted like they didn't speak English.
Yes, this is normal for us.
Yes, I am really this weird.
Please accept me and love me just they way I am.
And accept and love me cause I have birthed forth these precious spawn from the fruit of my womb.

But anyhoo, the real scoop and low down (or is it down low? I always get those confused) on WHY my spawn are taking swimming lessons...Is it for their entertainment? No!
The exercise? Uhm, no.
The athletic skill and ability? Again, Nope.
The fun? Errr, no.
The cool goggles? Uh, nunt uh.
The bond and love they will form from spending quality time together? Not that either.
The real reason is so I can sit in the lounge chair this summer and NOT HAVE TO BE IN THE POOL EVERY WAKING HOUR.And I can tan and order pineapple shakes and drinks with umbrellas in them...and blog about it...
While all the while knowing my sweet precious reproductions of my genetics are swimming safely in the pool as I pour me another one...Hiccup.There you have it. I am a lover not a fighter. I speak for all mothers who are afraid of the repercussion of the truth. I am using my first amendment -- oh wait, is that the one with bears and guns? Well, I am using my forty eleventh amendment -- the one where I can say anything I want cause its a free country and cause I'm rubber and you're glue. Amen.

PS If you are from Child Protective Services, I was only kidding -- SIKE! Good one, huh?


Jenn said...

LOL! It's perfectly ok to sit back and relax while they play. It's a reward. Go forth and enjoy your foo-foo drinks. :)

Anonymous said...

your kids are all just gorg-us!!! looks like everyone was having a good need to move back to Indiana. I'm sure IJ could just tell the military he's needed back home......Meemaw

Christy said...

Hey, that's a GREAT reason. I swear, I hate going to the frickin pool. I would much rather sit out and read a good book than actually get in the water. But since I have a 2 year old,(and a 5 year old, and an 11 year old) that's just not an option for me. Oh well. Drink a pineapple shake for me, baby!

Treasia said...

Now the truth comes out. LOL. But it's a good one. have a drink for me while soaking up the sun.

Dana and Daisy said...

I just want to know how you got BT in the pool without a major breakdown?

Party on CG!

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

go show the Twerps my blog on Sink or Swim.. you're lucky they let your camera in that dressing room.. you could be a perv in disguise! LOL. look how far BT has come.. his allergy must have cleared up!

Keary Naughton said...

I used see woman on their lounge chairs reading a book and think I will never get to that day. But it does happen believe it or not.

"Hello... It's Me Again..." said...

Drink up!!! Where'd you get your swimsuit??? Too cute!!!!