I need you. Because I can't make a decision to save my life. When multiple options are faced before me, my palms start sweating, my heart palpitates, and then I have to pee -- cause my bladder runneth over. Sorry, but it's true. I'm just keepin it real.
Anyhoo -- I have a decision to make. And decisions are not so much my thang. Neither is orange. It clashes with my pink undertones.
So most normal, sane human beings would just hunker down and make the call. But I think we have established I am neither normal, nor sane. So who do I turn to? Why my sweet honey child, of COURSE, I turn to you -- my fearless blog friends. You have never lead me astray. When all around me is sinking sand of my blog friends I stand. When I need a shelter when I need a friend, I do to the blog. (Name that tune.)
So I cry forth from the pits of despair. I beseech you dear brethern. Help a poor distressed Country Girl out.
I need you to help me decide where to go on vacation. The entire family's happiness rests upon my shoulders....the burden of decision making is my cross to bear. And it is more than my dainty shoulders can handle. They were made for more of a burden of a pink shimmer scarf. God knew what he was doing and all.
So I come to you -- to lead, guide, and direct me in the way I should go. To be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. However, I have a few nonnegotiables we must consider. Please do not judge me -- just love and embrace me.
- I must go to a beach. No "and, if, or, but , or maybe" about it. My soul longs for the beach and I cannot deny my heart its one true love any longer. I must go to a beach.
- I have to stay at a Marriott Resort. And I am a total Hotel Snob. I know. I know. But I'm just tellin you like it is -- the hotel will make or break it for me.
- I have to be able to drive from the Deep South within 10 hours.
- It has to be warm -- (please see #5)
- It has to be nowhere near anyone I might ever know or see again because I plan on spending every day in my bikini and sippin on a frozen fruity concoction with an umbrella. As a matter of fact I might even sleep on the beach...and by sleep, I mean catnaps....or possible massages. (In actuality, the Spawn will be find as long as they have life jackets on right? Hello?)
So anyhoo -- to recap: I need sand and high thread count sheets and sun and strangers who do not mind a middle aged lady wearing a bikini and love and acceptance for all.....do you have a place?
Looking for love in all the wrong places,