Saturday, April 10, 2010

Purell, Pee, and Prayers

This child? Oh how he melts my heart. He marches to the beat of a different drummer. Actually, he skips to the harpsichord. It's more his thang.But from the time he was born he has known what he has liked and what makes his forehead crinkle - and let's be honest, people pay lots of moolah to get rid of the forehead crinkle so I am trying to prevent this in Baby Twerp at an early age. Botox is no goal worth reaching. But Baby Twerp was born with an aqua allergy. And it was quite clear the first time I put him in a pool of water and he broke out in wailing and gnashing of teeth. And let me just tell you honey child, that Penicillin does NOTHING for hysterics. Believe me, I tried. It was a cryin shame. However, slowly but surely we have built up an immunity to water. And we are now able to get up to our neck in nice chlorinated, germ free water. With goggles of course - to protect the retina and possibly bacterial eye infections - duh. Not to mention while most children have their pockets stuffed with rocks or frogs or army men, BT has travel-sized Purells. It's just his thang.
So while we were at the beach, there was NO WAY in Dante's Inferno that BT was going to have any part of ENTERING the ocean. Sure, it was purty. Sure, we loved the sound. But actually GO INTO ITS BACTERIAL PIT INFESTATION? Don't get crazy! We had too much work to do on the beach calculating the amount of sand it would take to do any sort of damage to his immune system. And we have to go to our happy spot and turn potential disease infested grains of sand into a heavenly being -- thus "Sand Angels."But the waves were just too much for him and the calmness of the shore has much more of an enticing drawl. But there was one advantage to going into the ocean we had not calculated.

Uhm, exsqueeze me? Baby Twerp?!?!?
Just go IN THE OCEAN! Ahhhhh.
Help me Baby Jesus.


Anonymous said...

I love that! He is to funny....

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

sweet wounded jesus. what a boy!