Monday, January 2, 2012

Fourth Annual Cranberry Eating Contest
We Crown a New Champion

I big pink fuzzy heart with glitter love the holidays....and it just isn't quite complete until Nana and Grandpa arrive....



Or until we have completed our Annual Cranberry Eating Contest!!!!

And this year we had some early weaklings.  I am talking pitiful.....

And believe me -- we showed no mercy in making fun of the lesser than culinary tolerant.

IJ was out the first round -- first cranberry -- pitiful.

But MT knew exactly what he was doing -- smiling the entire time he ate the ever so tart cranberry.

ET?   All smiles too....

Nana?  She can't handle the TART.....  Out.  Buh Bye.

G-pa?  Ain't nothing gonna hole him back -- ain't nothing gonna break his stride....

BT -- this was his first year to survive past the first round.  And he had been practicing....building up a tolerance all through November.  And this conditioning was paying off.

But it was no match for momma bear.  Uh huh.  Oh yeah!  We all know how amazingly competitive I am -- and this time, my loves, all the spawn were going down....DOWN DOWN DOWN.

You see it is all in the choosing of the cranberry -- slightly still pink, firm, and ....

POP -- I can handle it....

ALL SMILES!

MT -- even without one front tooth -- was still smiling.

ET was not going to let a BOY beat her.

And G-pa was still choosing wisely....

Young grasshoppa

BT could not stop bouncing off the walls -- he was the master -- not only SMILES all through the eating but giggles too.

Good Lord this child has a fighting chance.

But need I remind you of the master skills I posses?  Look at the perfectly chosen cranberry,  We call him the cranchild.

Mmmmm -- I am SO enjoying this...

Like a fine wine -- there is nothing else I would rather do that eat cranberries all the days of my life.  And dwell in the house of the Berry forever....

Oh Lord... I have hit a tart center...  Help me baby Jesus.. Save me Tom Cruise.  Rescue me Oprah Winfrey.

Call the law.  Call my Pa.  Call my Ma way down in Arkansas. 

Good Lord deliver us in our time of need.  Cover me in glue and shake me in a bag of glitter.  I am over and out.

Done.  Stick a fork in me.  I am an embarrassment to all Cranberry prodigies across the land.  Father forgive me.  For I know not what I do.

So we are down to MT...

 ET....

And G-pa.

And BT....

All still going strong....

Or not....Oh ET -- you are OUT.  Down for the count BUH BYE!

While MT is still holding strong...

He now must rely on water to get through.  Bless his ever lovin heart.

This time G-pa relied on Nana to help him pick his berry.

Oh G-pa -- you did not choose wisely...

You are O-U-T ...Outta here.

So it is down to MT and BT....



MT just does't think he can hold out any longer....



Sorry Buddy -- you are OUT

All BT has to do is hold out for one more berry....


AND HE DOES IT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!!!

May I introduce you to our First Time 2011 Cranberry Eating Champion...

BABY TWERP

7 comments:

Jenn said...

Yay for BT!! My glands are going right now, just thinking about those tart cranberries! I wouldn't stand a chance!

The author said...

Yea BT! Every Thanksgiving I think about starting a contest, but I never do, although last year I did eat one and puckered. I would fail round one.

Weekend Cowgirl said...

You all know how to have fun!!

Andrea said...

Dear CG,

I have been trying and trying to email you, but bless my poor computer's soul, it won't cooperate. Just wanted to say that I LOVE YOUR BLOG and it never fails to make me laugh, even on hard days. Thanks for sharing you pink fuzzy hearts and glitter with the rest of us! <3

jenifer said...

Linzi-- i just read a comment you left on my blog about guinea pig pellets. we use recycled pine pellets that cost $5 a bag from a feed store. I've found them at a few different feed stores, but they are usually in the back. (we also use fleece bedding some, but haven't quite figured that out yet.)
you are beautiful in these cranberry pictures. i hope you know it. (hope that doesn't sound weird...)

have a great day!

cb in nm said...

Where'd you go? :( I come to check every now and then to see if you've come back. Are you blogging elsewhere?

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

i have missed reading your blog! CRANgratulations, BT!