Sunday, July 8, 2007

Mortification Memoirs

So I was a French student. While all my other classmates were taking the language that is the second most spoken in this country and will increase your changes of obtaining a job by like 4 zillion...not me. No by golly. I was taking French. Just the thought of the French language made me feel romantic. I thought once I learned this language I would sit around my farming community o f 632 people, sip wine, speak French and fall in love -- in between "worshing" the clothes and hoeing the garden, of course.

Ah, French. It made me all tingly inside. Until I actually began the class. It was hard. We conjugated verbs, drilled vocabulary, and never did the wine tasting that I thought would inevitablely occur in any good French methodology.

After French II, we had to translate our favorite song into French. I started with Madonna's Material Girl, but then realized this was my chance to learn the perfect serenade for my soon-to-be French lover! So I inevitably switched it to the quintessential love song of the 90's Bon Jovi's I'll Be There For You (In which my friend, Feather, thought was I'll Be There For You -- Fee Fi Foe Fum Swear to You -- She's not blond!)

Anyways, I began my late night of burning the midnight oil to translate this serenade to my future French hottie husband. But it got hard...real All those conjugated verbs began swimming and for heaven's sake, the song didn't rhyme anymore. How can you romance a French man without rhyming? Grr.

So I switched songs again. I thought more practical this time. What does every French man have? (Get your minds out of the gutter!) A BIRTHDAY! I will translate Happy Birthday. That will come in as handy as a pocket on a shirt! What man would not love to have Happy Birthday sang to him in French? And on a side note, it repeated A LOT which made my translation part a SNAP!

So I turned in my song.

Bonne Fete A Toi
Bonne Fete A Toi
Bonne Fete A Toi
Bonne Fete A .......
Bonne Fete A Toi

~ Ann Minnie Moore

I was so proud until Mrs Burger asked me in front of the ENTIRE class, "Who is Ann Minnie Moore?" "Well, the author of the song." I stated so proudly. I felt like I should get extra credit for siting my sources!

Then it happened, the whole class broke into laughter -- and Pascal -- French connoisseur himself stated, "It's AND MANY MORE!"

Well, didn't I feel silly!


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AmiDA said...

lol! :)
loved reading this!

photo_chiq said...

LOL.. It makes me feel better to know I am not the only one who struggled with french. I had to take it from the second grade until the ninth.. at the end of the year in ninth grade the teacher pulled me aside and said "I will pass you if you promise to NEVER take french again" It was a deal!

chocolatechic said...

I am glad to know that I am not the only one who took French just for that reason.....romance.

Gloria said...

Bonjour? Haha. This was so hilarious! Do tell if you have any use of this knowledge you acquire? =P

P.S: I'm a new reader, I came here from Ree's comment page. I'm hooked! You have lovely kids! =)

Alyssa said...

CG - I found your blog off a friend's site and I love reading it! You have such a gift for writing.

But until I was 12 I said:

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America, for Richard Stands"

Now I never knew who Richard Stands was but he must have been famous to be in The Pledge - the day my mom figured out what I was saying she laughed so hard she cried.