In Remembrance of Me

My daughter has never had a moment in her life where she has been speechless. She always has been able to articulate herself quite nicely, as she demonstrated at Lowe's a few weeks ago. But what I admire the most about my oldest twerp is she is steadfast in her beliefs. She is the biggest Bible Thumper I have ever seen. TD Jakes, move on over. This incident proves it the best...

I picked up my daughter early from Children's Church one evening because my middle spawn had been bitten by some other teething toddler. In my early mothering years, I would have judged and condemned this diplorable act; however, experience has taught me that usually when you criticize and abolish someone else's child, yours will be the next to take up that evil habit. So, I pulled my middle twerp out of class and was going to take them all home to apply ice and take pics. I have 2 of the 3 spawn in tow and was on my way to pick up my daughter. I peeked into the class ever so slightly as to not interrupt the divine holiness of the sacred moment. I looked at my precious daughter and gave a little "come here" motion. She peered back from across the room and shook her head no. What? No? So I mustered up the "evil eye," tiled my head, and mouthed with pursed lips, "Come On." She bowed her head in prayer.

By this time the entire 75 children were looking my way, not to mention the teachers and assistance wondering why I had interrupted the sacred tradition of communion. I could feel the flames of hell lapping at my feet.

I stepped into the dimly-lit, hallowed room and gave my best "spawn of Satan look" I could rally. She jerked up from her seat, yanked her jacket from the floor, and stomped out of the room. I waited in the Lobby.

When she made her intimidating journey to me, she slammed her jacket on the floor, pointed one finger at me while placing the other on her hip and asked through her bobbling head, "How do you expect me to be a good Christian woman if you keep pulling me out of class so I can never partake in communion?"

I probably should not have laughed, huh?