Sunday, September 2, 2007

Your Momma's a Rhino!

We went to the zoo yesterday which happens to be one of my spawns' favorite places to visit. We stopped by the rhinoceros exhibit to see the momma and her baby. The momma came right up to us, eating her way down the path. She was enormous, gigantic, barbaric, and filthy with a putrid, malodorous, foul smell reeking from her folds of skin. Oh how different a rhino and I are. How I pity the life of a disgusting rhino. I was ready to move on. Carry on down the path to an animal I could relate to more, like the graceful swan or the beautiful peacock or maybe even the powerful lioness. I was in search of my animal sole mate, until my daughter uttered words that stopped me dead in my tracks. Words that sliced like a dagger through my soft, precious heart. Words that could not in any way be true. No I tell you, LIES LIES LIES!In her sweet angle voice, she peered across the path at me a spoke these demon possessed words, " Momma, you remind me of this rhinoceros." I bare no resemblance to this foul creature! What could my daughter possibly see in this vulgar living thing that could remotely bear resemblance of her loving, gentle, beautiful, fashionable mother? As these thoughts flooded my injured, damaged soul; this brute of a beast turned its backside to us. It was as if she was taunting me to notice our similarities. Was that cellulite bumps I saw? Was her skin hanging and drooping from carrying her child in her womb? Did she sacrifice her once firm, toned, tight body unselfishly to give life to her child? How precious. Yes, yes indeed. I was like this giving, loving, unselfish, devoted fellow mother. I was in agreement with my daughter in her compliment. Until she did this. How uncouth. I would never!Maybe my family is a distant relative. Can you see any resemblance?

1 comment:

German Boy said...

Nope. You are more discrete and you squat.