Wednesday, January 23, 2008

"Unless I accept my virtues, I most certainly will be overwhelmed by my faults."
~Robert Coleman

Sometimes I read through other women's blogs or even have a conversation with a girlfriend and leave thinking how inadequate I am.

They have meals planned for months with organic offerings.
I forgot to defrost meat. Another $5 pizza to go, again.

They soak their socks and color-coordinate their closets.
I am behind on laundry and have no clean sheets, so my kids are sleeping in the tent in the playroom, again.

They have their home a quiet haven for their husbands at 5 pm.
I snap & use sarcasm 'cause the trash needs to be taken out, again.

They have a color coded chore list for their kids.
The dog looks skinny & probably hasn't been feed this week, again.

I feel overwhelmed and inadequate. I read some women's blogs in which their husbands are knights in shining armors....their marriages are perfect scenes from Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, and their kids say prayers and do devotions every 15 minutes. Yeah, sometimes I suck.

But it is in the daily things of life that I believe I am making a difference with my kids. It is in the trials, dirty laundry, frustrations, disappointments, and short comings that some of my most valuable lessons are taught, maybe. The fact that I am real --that life happens -- that I make mistakes -- that I am not afraid to say I am sorry. It is in this daily grind that the masterpiece of my children are formed. For out of mistakes come lessons and out of routine comes greatness.

"If a man was to compare the effect of a single stroke of the pick-ax, or of one impression of the spade with the general design and last result, he would be overwhelmed by the sense of their disproportion; yet those petty operations, incessantly continued, in time surmount the greatest difficulties, and mountains are levelled, and oceans bounded, by the slender force of human beings." -Johnson


Army Wife said...

This is exactly how I've been feeling this entire week. I can't seem to keep up with the laundry, there's a huge pile of dishes in the sink, there are dust dinosaurs living in the corners, I over spent this month... and on and on and on. I thought that when I first got married that in a few years I'd "have it down". I've been married seven years now and it's a daily struggle. I still yell at my kids, I still forget to give them baths, I still forget to dry that load of laundry then two days later have to rewash.
But this is life, real life. The blogs you read where everything is sooo perfect are entertainment. Maybe not everybody has your exact problems but they have their own set of issues. They only let us know what they want us to know. You can't compare yourself to others unless you live with them 24/7. You really don't know what all goes on in their home.
I love the quote at the end. It's a great reminder to take one day at a time.
Thanks for the post. I feel better already and ready to face another day.

ptamom3 said...

I know some of those "other women" and let me tell you- I'd much rather be playing with the children than color coding! I think there are much more productive ways to spending your days although unfortunately it is a necessary evil that we have to do laundry every single day- especially with 3 little girls in the house! Your blog is great- keep it up!! P.S. Love the photos of you- I personally like the 1st one in color the best.

Heidi said...

I agree with the other commenters. Just because someone's house is pretty, doesn't mean they don't ever yell at their kids. :) What is hard for me is that I pick the most amazing thing about 8 different people and somehow think that I should have those 8 great qualities when none of them have all 8! And it is true that people only show part of themselves. Most often it is their best side.

Do well what you do best. Pick small things to improve upon, one at a time. Love those kids. Spend time with your family. Say you're sorry when things fall apart. Tomorrow is a fresh day with no mistakes in it.

I think you are spot on when you say that kids benefit from seeing an adult, who is not perfect, picking themselves up and getting on with life. Who can say they're sorry. Who can admit that life isn't perfect. Who can show their kids how to make something of an imperfect life. And to treasure the good things.

FWIW, I think the kids will have better memories of sleeping in a tent in the playroom than of having clean sheets so they can sleep in their beds. :)

Jubilee on Earth said...

Oooh... that was a great quote. Yeah, how can we compare ourselves to Ree? Both she AND her hubby work out of their home. She has someone come in to help her with her laundry and to watch the kids while she cooks. Sure, I have a knight in shining armor, but we don't have any kids. My sisters always comment on my perfect house, but it stays that way because I don't have little ones running around. If I did, it would be trashed -- guaranteed.

It's all about perspective. Maybe that family has organic meals planned out for the week, but perhaps they're in big financial trouble. Or maybe a family's house is neat and clean, but the hubby and wife don't have a strong relationship.

You gotta focus on what's good in your life. It shouldn't matter what's going on in others, because you don't know the whole story. But you do know yours...


Ansbaughmom said...

From what I see from your blog-you do an amazing job with your family. Your kids and husband dont mind the little things-the big thing is that you are there for them!!

Lura said...

I'm right there with you!