Soak

It is 2:18 in the morning -- or at least I think that is what my clock says through the squint of my sleepy eyes. The wind howls, the kids sleep, the dog snores, I pray.

How many other mothers have been up just as I -- praying, crying, worrying, hoping, believing, seeking, asking, thanking? It seems the later is in short supply lately. Isn't it strange how much closer your walk becomes with Christ when you have children? I know mine has. At times I feel so helpless, so unqualified, so dependent on Him. I guess I am exactly where I should be, but hating how I get here -- out of my own insufficiency. I wish I was judged on my intentions instead of my actions. But alas...

I am up tonight ... seeking wisdom for me, my job, my Twerps, my Indiana Jones.Baby Twerp -- Lord, show him he is valuable. Show him he is loved. Do I spend enough time with him? Am I as attentive to him as the others? Show me my weaknesses, but gently please. Heal his ears, grow his heart. I pray for security and the knowledge of whole acceptance. Protect his gentle heart. His footsteps are ordered by you. I thank you that he will be at the right place, doing the right things, at the right time.

Middle Twerp -- Oh what a joy, but Lord, help tame his tongue. Help me teach him. Protect him from his dare devil stunts. Thank you so much for his curiosity and love for reading. Help me guide him, teach him, direct him. Continue to grow his love for family. I thank you for his leadership and deep roots in Christ and family. I also pray for obedience -- for him, not me.

Eldest Twerp -- Thank you for her. Where would I be without her? In a dark corner curled in the fetal position, rocking and sucking my thumb. Thank you for her wit, intelligence and passion. Help her with the changes occurring in her world. Help her grow into a young lady. Help her not to just cope, but flourish. Protect her.

Indiana Jones -- Wow, thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you for a man that is passionate for you and his family. Thank you for a leader, a strong self secure man. Thank you for a provider -- for a man that I respect beyond measure. Help him right now as he is away. Protect him, give him wisdom. Help me think of him more often than myself.

Lord, help me become the woman You knew I could be.

Lord, melt away more of me so I can soak in more of you.

He gives to the earth snow like a blanket of wool; He scatters the frost like ashes.
He casts forth His ice like crumbs; who can stand before His cold?
He sends out His word, and melts ice and snow; He causes His wind to blow, and the waters flow.

~Psalm 147:16-18