This is me 4.2 seconds after giving natural birth. This was my first birthing process. I denied drugs. I was young. I was dumb. Here I am before labor. I was STARVING! I was 4 cm dilated and that was some work. I wanted a cheeseburger and fries from Whataburger but they got me a salad from McDonald's. I am not a salad kinda girl. But nonetheless, I devoured it with my Dr Pepper. Here I am still in my brave stage of, "Drugs? Oh, for me? No, I could never! I will do as all good mothers do and give birth like the good Lawd meant for me to, a la natural!"This is my nurse, "Are you sure sweetie?"Here I am 6 cm dilated. You can see I am totally faking that smile. And good Lord have mercy on my soul....I WAS HUGE!!!!After much labor, came this...I was so proud. Here is my all time BFF. She was the first visitor.
Just look how worn out I was. And did I reapply a fresh coat of make-up? Obviously DRUG FREE!Now for a contrast. This was 4.2 seconds after my second birth. Notice I am not in the pic. This is because I accepted drugs -- legal, life altering drugs. And my life was perfect and wonderful. And no one dared take a pic of me. I looked somewhat like people at Van Halen concerts in the early 80's or like people at Woodstock in the 60's -- but legally.
If you notice there are NO PICS of me. I searched high and low. I swear by all that is in me it is because I was in a drug induced coma. And I loved it.
Just look at what cute babies I make -- but let me straight up tell you, I've been natural and super natural druggie... and let me just say for the record....during labor, embrace the drugs, they are your friend.
Now go forth and multiple....if you see fitting -- but get yourself some drugs. Amen.