Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Just Say Yes To Drugs...Legally

This is me 4.2 seconds after giving natural birth. This was my first birthing process. I denied drugs. I was young. I was dumb. Here I am before labor. I was STARVING! I was 4 cm dilated and that was some work. I wanted a cheeseburger and fries from Whataburger but they got me a salad from McDonald's. I am not a salad kinda girl. But nonetheless, I devoured it with my Dr Pepper. Here I am still in my brave stage of, "Drugs? Oh, for me? No, I could never! I will do as all good mothers do and give birth like the good Lawd meant for me to, a la natural!"This is my nurse, "Are you sure sweetie?"Here I am 6 cm dilated. You can see I am totally faking that smile. And good Lord have mercy on my soul....I WAS HUGE!!!!After much labor, came this...I was so proud. Here is my all time BFF. She was the first visitor.
Just look how worn out I was. And did I reapply a fresh coat of make-up? Obviously DRUG FREE!Now for a contrast. This was 4.2 seconds after my second birth. Notice I am not in the pic. This is because I accepted drugs -- legal, life altering drugs. And my life was perfect and wonderful. And no one dared take a pic of me. I looked somewhat like people at Van Halen concerts in the early 80's or like people at Woodstock in the 60's -- but legally.
If you notice there are NO PICS of me. I searched high and low. I swear by all that is in me it is because I was in a drug induced coma. And I loved it.


Just look at what cute babies I make -- but let me straight up tell you, I've been natural and super natural druggie... and let me just say for the record....during labor, embrace the drugs, they are your friend.
Now go forth and multiple....if you see fitting -- but get yourself some drugs. Amen.

4 comments:

Treasia said...

I don't think I have ever seen anyone look so nice after giving birth!! Whether drug induced or natural. Kudo's my dear.

My first was au-natural as well. By number two I was screaming for those drugs. and highly recommend them for anyone willing to listen.

Heidi said...

It's official. I don't like you anymore. :) I will never. ever. post pictures of myself after giving birth. Or before. Or during. Or pregnant, even. Nope.

No natural for me. I called the hospital, told them I was on my way, and the drugs better be ready when I got there.

ptamom3 said...

You looked great- I agree with the last poster- no pictures of me after childbirth on my blog.. nope won't happen. Anyway.. sounds like the baby fever is getting to ya-- bet hubby can't wait to get home :)

justgottalaugh said...

Well, even though you look amazing before, during, and after giving birth- either way- I'll still be your friend.

And even though we differ on our childbirth philosphies, I'll still be your blogging buddy.

And even though my youngest is only 6 months old and you just gave me the baby itch, I'll be your BFF. But my husband surely won't like you.