Mexican Mortification Memoir

So I had a hankering for Mexican food tonight. This is not an abnormal occurrence for me. This fancy hits me three or four times a week. Sometimes a little Taco Bell can calm the Mexican monster within, but tonight was different -- I needed salsa...real hot salsa, pico de gala, all those yummy carrots in the relish and jalapeno chicken enchiladas. Be still my beating heart. All this is great, but have I mentioned I have three children and no hubby? Could I possibly dare to go to a sit down restaurant on a weekend night with three twerps?

My desire won over. It was a little chilly out so I threw my jeans in the dryer with a load of cloths before we left. There is nothing better than warm jeans on a cool night (plus I really did not want to iron). I grabbed my pants out of the dryer, slipped two toddlers in car seats, buckled in another twerp, and off we went.

We took the bare minimum into the restaurant -- the kids, my cc in my back pocket, and my cell. We ate in peace and it was heavenly. I did have to take kids to the bathroom on three separate occasions for emergency potty breaks.

This woman diagonal from us kept looking at me. I just assumed she was amazed at my parenting skills of corralling three spawn in a sit down restaurant.

At the end of the meal (sopapia in my mouth) she came over, bent down and whispered in my ear, "You have something coming out of your pants leg."

I bent down and pulled out....GULP...a pair of my purple polka dot panties. I had to stop and think how in the world this happened. How could my underwear just come off? Then I realized they got caught in the leg of my jeans while they were in the dryer.

I have no idea how long I sat at the table, stunned and staring at my purple panties, then my Eldest Twerp scolded me and said, "Mom, put those away!"

Where was I to put them? I did not bring in my purse...no diaper bag...nothing. So I did what any reasonable mature mother would do. I reached over, pulled the back of my baby twerp's diaper out, and shoved them down into his diaper.

Please don't judge me. What would you have done?