No, I Am Not The Elephant Man, I Have Been Crying

I woke up this morning and was juggling to get the kids out the door without killing or maiming anyone. I turned on the TV thinking it might mesmerize (ie distract) the Twerps long enough so I could at least throw on some cloths and more importantly some make-up. But then, then, I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard the dramatic music come forth from the TV and the majestic Morgan Freeman voice.

He started, "Derek Redmond didn’t finish in first place in the 1992 400 meter."

"He didn't finish in second..." and then you see Derek go down and cover his face in disappointment, humiliation and utter despair. I slide down the wall and sat motionless on my steps.

Morgan Freeman continued and I was entranced, "or third, or fourth." And you see Derek stand up and begin to hobble to the finish line in excruciating pain. When he can not make it any longer, when the next step seems impossible, when his world seems over, his father comes bounding out of the crowd making a beeline to his son. Nothing else is important to him, nothing but getting to his son.

"He and his father finished dead last."

"But he and his father finished."

I sat there weeping. I am talking snot flying, throat wheezing, talk screeching balling. It was more than I could handle. I have no idea how long I was there, but my daughter cautiously came up and asked if I was okay. "Of course sweetie, I have been rubbing cashews and walnuts all over my eyes. Dang allergies."

You can watch it here. But I am warning you...don't. Don't do it. It is life altering and you will look like someone punched you in the face...numerous times. I am getting choked up as I type this. Oh who am I kidding? I am weeping all over again. I just sprayed snot on the keyboard. What is wrong with me? I am SO emotional!

Then, I went to Wal Mart tonight to grocery shop. As I was getting ready to check out I realized I had forgotten the Dr. Pepper. I did not have it in me to return to the soda pop aisle so I just began to unload. Over halfway through, the cashier turned off her light and said, "I am sorry but I am closed."

I just stood there and felt my face getting hot and my eyes start to sting. I looked back to see if my dad would come bounding out of the aisles to see me through, but I realized I was on my own. "Is there anyway you can please go ahead and check me out since I have so much already unloaded?"

"No, sorry."

Then came the lump and the liquid began to flow from my nose and my contacts got cloudy and I could not stop it. I could not stop it. I was balling over a Wal Mart check out lane. A WAL MART CHECK OUT LANE! (And it helps me to repeat things, really, it does. It helps.)

Once I finally made it to the truck looking like the Elephant Man, I realize what it was. I needed rest. Rest. Rest. Rest. I needed to not think, not try to solve any problems, not try to have the RIGHT answers, not try to figure it all out. I needed to rest. So I went back in to Aisle 7...passed the soda pop aisle and got this instead. Amen.