Friday, June 6, 2008

Oh Harold, Where Art Thou?

I love a good list. Love it. I could so wear its class ring...and wrap it in dental floss and paint it with clear nail polish. And act like I am cold at the football game so I can wear its letterman's jacket. Yeah, I am shallow like that.

Anyways, I find myself making list daily...bidaily...tridaily...quadaily...pentdaily...hexadaily... sexdaily (giggle giggle snort) ...octadaily... Every time I start to complete a task, I realize I do not have the needed equipment to accomplish I go lay down and take a nap. This is how I cope. I am on my seventh nap this morning. That would be sexnap...I can't stop it now. Hee Hee.

I went to scramble eggs this morning and had no PAM or butter or olive oil or bacon grease or motor I made them in the microwave and felt so bad mom. Then I went to grab a paper towel (which I HATE spending money on... seems so expendable) and realize I need a paper towel holder. Kinda the whole "if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want a glass of milk" mentality. Then I went to sit down in a chair and realized, I don't have a chair. Then I went to watch TV and realized I don't have one of those either. So I yelled for Harold, my butler, only to realize I was all out of him too. This day is going downhill fast. I then ran outside to jump in my pool and relax...all I found was a puddle from where Baby Twerp did not make it to the potty in time. I just made the most of the moment. I still put on my baby oil and sunglasses and laid out a towel. I then made Eldest Twerp be my cabana boy and bring me chocolate milk with an umbrella in it. Life is tough right now, I must improvise.

So here are my lists:

1. Paper Towel Holder (Colossal waste of money)
2. Hair Ties
3. Toe Nail Polish
4. Nail File
5. Brown Leather Chair (Yes, at Target...don't judge me)
6. Light Bulbs
7. PAM
8. Lime
9. Pet Dolphin

Home Depot
1. Refrigerator (ours did not fit -- along with 80% of our household goods -- SIMPLIFY BABY)
2. Mini Lamp Shades
3. Dining Room Lighting
4. Black Nails -- (Not finger nails, I am not Goth -- but if you are, I accept and love you)
5. Cabana Boy
6. Harold

Anyone need me to pick you up anything?


Tiger Lamb Girl said...

I'm so with you on the nail polish. If only because when summer hits? I have to paint my toenails or I feel incomplete.

Heidi said...

You're on a roll, girl. I enjoy the free entertainment. :) I already have two leather chairs and an ottoman from Target, but I really need some hair gel. Do they really have Cabana boys at Home Depot. I completely missed the aisle. Please pick up one for me while you're there.

Oh. I make a gazillion lists every day too. Been doing it since I could write. Probably drew picture lists before that. Once I spent days on a comprehensive list of what I would want to pack along if I was going to be stranded on an island alone for a year. Good use of my time, yes?

Becky said...

Oh Country Girl, how do I love your blog! Your sense of humor is right up my ally!

While you're at Home Depot, can you pick me up one of their orange vested experts? I love my man, but he's not so good in the home repair department and our patio cover needs some fixin'. I'm sure one of the Home Depot employees could fix it for me!


The Nester said...

am i supposed to be using pam or butter or oil in my eggs? I never have--but I use a nonstick pan!

now i need to go back and read the rest of your post!

The Nester said...

Oh and i want that brown target chair too!

and I bet eggs are so much better with butter!

Christyne (aka Apple Blossom) said...

Found you through PW's blog. Your blog is just fabulous! Adding you to my faves!