Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Cry Me A River, Peel Me A Banana

Day Three of Pre K and let me tell you, this is some tumultuous times. It was the Best of Times, it was the Worst of Times. And this morning, we flipped the Worst of Times side of that coin.

I never knew what an emotional toll 6:45 AM wake up calls could make on a 4-year-old. I also never knew the utter strength and sheer determination for a 4-year-old...not until today.

Apparently, in our little 4-year-old mind, we were under the assumption that "going to school" was a one time event...or at the most, an annual commitment...maybe like a birthday party or vaccinations. Never in our wildest dreams could we comprehend that EVERY weekday for the next 10 months would be enveloped in a cloud of crayons, blocks, and freshly sharpened pencils. This, my friends, was too much to bear.

Day Two drop off was a little emotional with a few tears and a little snot, but we managed to calm ourselves down once we were accepted in the zoo play group with zebras and monkeys and hippos.

But Lord have mercy and pity on my dear sweet soul.

Today the tears started flowin as we pulled in to the parking lot,

"No. No. No. Not here Momma. I don't wanna go to school. I wanna go to Target."
{Uhm, what does this say about me when my child cries for Target?}

"But Middle Twerp you will have fun at school and you will sing the Bear Hunt song and I will come pick you up right after snack."

"I already did school yesterday and now I am done."
{Insert wailing and gnashing of teeth}

So I carried him in as he wrapped himself around me weeping, "Don't leave me. Don't leave me."

Once we got to class the snot and tears had drizzled down my back and a river of tears had started to flow through the Pre K room. And as I looked around...we were not the only ones. Apparently, there is a very serious physiological and physical disorder called , Day Three Meltdown. And let me say, we were in full force symptomatic shockalatic arrest.

So I tried to sit Middle Twerp down on the floor in which I could get his arms released from the death grip on my neck, only to have to fight the legs wrapped around my waist, and I was starting to be suffocated quite like how I imagine a boa constrictor squeezing the life out of its prey...kinda. Once I was able to take a crowbar and release the legs, the arms had magically taken hold of my neck again. It was an ongoing battle and my skirt was falling down and my lips were turning blue.

Finally I just had to peel is hands off and hold them with my thighs as I peeled the legs. {Yes, he was upside down. Please don;t judge me.} I then dropped him in the arms of his teacher and took off. Not looking back for fear the one glance I might take in would send me back to his Jedi Mind Tricks and I would wisk him away to his dream to Target.

I don't know how many more days of River Cryin and Banana Peelin this soft-hearted momma can endure.

Disclaimer - Tomorrow there is a large sale at the Gap, so I will have no problem leavin him and running to my surrogate child for flowing skirts and tanks and strapless summer dresses. Don't judge me. I am just tellin it like it is. Amen.


Bekah said...

dear little guy. When I worked at a kindergarten I saw this for the first two weeks for some of the kids, usually within about 10 minutes they had calmed down and were happily coloring.

Laura B. said...

Oh, poor Middle Twerp! Yea, I deal with this sometimes with the 4 yr olds in the church preschool on Sunday mornings. They meltdown in front of the parents and then as soon as the parents are out of sight and the crayons are out...they're fine. I'm sure he'll get used to the routine in no time!

Anonymous said...

Oh I have been there. Those were the days when I made haste to Starbucks and drowned my sorrows in White Chocolate Mochas. I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

Love ya, but why???? does he have to go there? Aren't you a teacher? Can't you teach him to color, his ABC's and all the pre-school stuff? Not judgin, just feel bad for the baby. Kids don't want to go for a reason. They aren't trying to make their parent's lives miserable. Just sayin..........

Hello, I'm a Fat Girl said...

My cat does the same thing when I take her to the vet. She literally wraps her front legs around my neck and her hind legs around my waist and wails, "Don't take me there Momma!"

uhm, I don't have any advice 'cause I haven't any kids of my own. I don't know if it would work to bribe him in some way? Now don't judge me. hmm. I can only hope it won't be long and he'll be begging you NOT to walk him all the way to class! There comes a time when that is soooo embarrassing to them.

ptamom3 said...

I had to do the same to my pre-k girl last year. Some days were perfectly fine and then months into the school year, she'd have a moment and be latched to my leg all the way to her class. I know you know it's normal- but it still doesn't hurt any less!!

cynthia said...

i feel for you country girl...that is hard! even though my little man never did that (thank the Lord or i would have took him with me) but i'm on the other end and it's just as hard too!