Send Help - I'm Stuck on the Train

You cannot swing a dead cat around this town without hittin a festival. And quite honestly I love it. But these peeps in the South celebrate everything.

Of course we celebrate all the historic Civil War battles. Even though we lost, but I think they don't remember that small fact. And hey, who am I to spoil the fun...why should I rain on their parade. So I just go about and eat the food and enjoy the good times and let them celebrate and open yet another keg of make believe in this Alzheimer's state. Shhhh...it won't hurt no one.But this festival honored all the BBQ makers out there. And oh I love me some good pig. And look who went out and found themselves a little friend in the neighborhood...a friend that has actual descent parents and she looks normal and is sweet and she is even mannerly and no to mention cute as a button...and Eldest Twerp likes to point out that she has a zip line in her backyard...but we are not superficial like that so we don't care...kinda. But we are enjoying friendship to its fullest... And this festival had to cutest little drink stand...it was basically keg soda...
and OF COURSE this. You find this flowing from the water fountains and in every baby's bottle this side of the Mississippi. Seriously. I kid you not.Take a guess what I got...Cherry Wine, Cream Soda, Grape, or Sweet Tea ...The girls are QTs...and I made them share...cause I think it will draw them closer together...and it saved me seven bucks...but I am stickin with the drawl them closer statement...is it draw or drawl...this will keep me awake tonight...but nothing a few wine coolers can't cure...I kid. I kid. Unless you aren't judging me, them I was serious...as a heart attack. This child got his own cause let me tell you his backwash can be dreadful...DREADFUL. And I love him and all, but sometimes, love knows some bounds. Anyone with me... Uhm..yeah...some bounds...
But then, Baby Twerp found a train to ride...pulled by a tractor.

And to Baby Twerp, a little piece of heaven opened forth and descended upon him... It was the highlight of his week.
But then...then...the tractor did something dreadful, something unforgivable, something equivalent to birthing the spawn of Satan.
It stopped.
And the ride was over...
And we are still sitting here...really, Indiana Jones brought me my lap top...and I have that keg of sweet tea up the way...I wonder how long we will last. Can someone bring me my Dr Pepper lip gloss and a vanilla latte....pretty please...