Sunday, September 21, 2008

Goats: The Gift That Keeps Giving

We have four frat guys that live next door. While this would have been a dream situation for me oh, say 13 years ago, I am long over the loud music and late night parties and beer runs. I no longer have words like keg and bong and shot and dude and goat in my vocabulary. I basically have become a loser.

But in all seriousness, they are pretty good neighbors. Sure they have parties every weekend and sure there are more girls revolving through there than at my tanning salon, but overall, they are respectful good boys who call their grandma on her birthday and kiss their momma in front of their friends. Probably. I'm guessin.They have stolen Middle Twerps attention and he thinks they are the best thang since sliced bread. He even let them borrow his kiddie pool last week so it could be transformed into a beer cooler. I warned them that it could have been peed in. They warned me it could come back being peed in. I told them they could keep it.

But now, they have risen in coolness factor with my Twerps. Now, they are not only my Twerps role models, but their gods. Now, I cannot keep the Twerps out of their backyard. Now that they have Rutherford and Bartholomew. And why? Why would four SENIOR fraternity guys get two goats you may ask? I asked the same question and they looked at me like I asked something ridiculuos like, "Why drink beer?"

But then they responded, "For the new pledges of course."Oh! Well, yea..OF COURSE! I so knew that. Cause that's what we always got our new sorority pledges: a rose, a pin, and a goat. Duh!

"Uhm, and then why are they here at not with the new pledges?"

"Cause you can't keep livestock in the Frat House. Crazy campus rules."

Shew, thank gawd we don't have any homeowner's association rules here, huh?

15 comments:

Steve said...

That brought back a great memory. I instigated getting a goat to scare the pledges during intitiation week. I wish I could have taken a picture of their faces when we came walking in with a goat on a rope. Glad middle twerp has some rowdy boys to idolize. Should make him less homesick!

Bekah said...

umm yeah, what happens with the goats? im confused...and a little scared.

MauritaMason said...

Um, what bekah said. Can I just drive down right now and steal them? The goats, I mean. You'll cover for me...right?

Christy said...

I love goats! They are so darn cute. And Im kind of wondering about this, too. They're not like gonna eat them are they? Cause that's so not cool!

Christy said...

BTW, as gorgous as you are, I bet those frat boys are thanking GOD that they live near you! IJ better watch out!

Marchelle said...

goats are evil and unholy and they scare the bejesus out of me. fo rill.
however, the ellie mae in me doesn't want them to be hurt. so there better not be any ill intentions with them or else i'll have to come down there with maurita.

Jennifer said...

We won't find these frat boys' faces on the department of correction's website under the "crimes against nature" category, will we?

Treasia said...

They are just adorable little things. I hope they are not for some BBQ anytime.

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

girls, girls, girls. do NOT ask what they use that goat for..just think ancient Greece ..and no..they don't eat them..well maybe later they'll be Cabritos..but.. do NOT ask what happens at a FRAT house. EVER. you do not want to know. For my whole childhood I lived across the street from frats...not a pretty sight! but nearly all those kids survive

Dreams of a Country Girl said...

okay...i am clueless...what do we think they are gonna do....what would you do with a goat

Tracie said...

Do we need to fear for the goats?

Dana Jones said...

I don't know, call me a prude, but I think I smell some evil goat sacrificing get f-ed up and do something mean to a goat party at your neighbor's house this weekend.

I say you and the twerps should get up at daybreak and turn those baby goats loose into greener pastures.

Pardon my language please. i am usually a panty-hose wearing good Christian woman myself.

Dana Jones said...

uhm, just to be clear, yes, fear for the goats. And I don't think it necessarily involves bbq.

3SonsAreMyLove said...

Those are scarrrrry-looking goats. Satanic-worship-looking goats. I LOVE animals but those goats make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Shiver....

Katy said...

OH!!! Your post above makes sooo much more sense to me now about the goats!!!! ROFL! Aww...they spray painted their GOATS! I seriously want a goat. :( LOL