The morning (I use this term VERY loosely -- I think it was actually 11 AM -- which is 8 in California. We usually work on California time.) after the birthday (in which I forgot the American symbol of the celebration of birth: THE CAKE -- but why belabor the point of my inept motherhood when we can talk about FOOD?) Eldest Twerp chose to partake in the Barrel of Crack as we call it. 
You probably just call it Cracker Barrel like most normal American families. I think we have establish we are not like most normal American Families. Kinda.
And then she wanted to have a camp out that night and roast marshmallows and such. Uhm...hello? IT IS MID NOVEMBER!! But, she is my child and I do make sacrifice...and I was feeling guilty about forgettin the cake and all -- don't you go to judgin'.And low and behold and I looked out my window to notice my frat boy neighbors havin a campfire and party. I could so just capitalize on their hard work and steal over there to roast some marshmallows and call it an evening -- SWEET. 
But I had to find a way in -- so I bought beer, cooked my Hot Mexican Soup, and took over Baby Twerps' candy cigarettes -- THOSE ARE NOT REAL CIGGIES! Don't go to judgin.
But I had to find a way in -- so I bought beer, cooked my Hot Mexican Soup, and took over Baby Twerps' candy cigarettes -- THOSE ARE NOT REAL CIGGIES! Don't go to judgin. I was welcomed with open arms. I did however leave the boys at home -- they are still too impressionable and have a tendency to steal have full beer cans -- TWERPS.
But once I was over, I OF COURSE checked on their pet goats that have been in captivity for several months now. I told them they have 500 women checkin on them daily via my posts and I use my zoom lens to document the proper care and etiquette for goats. They thought I was a hoot n nanny!
But once I was over, I OF COURSE checked on their pet goats that have been in captivity for several months now. I told them they have 500 women checkin on them daily via my posts and I use my zoom lens to document the proper care and etiquette for goats. They thought I was a hoot n nanny! 
So they begged of me to show you the love and admiration (in a healthy way) they are for Bartholomew. (The other had the runs so he was not pickin him up -- just FYI.)
They also showed me the grain supplements and salt licked and distilled water they provide for them. I am also donating an insulated dog house for the winter. Cause I knew you all would want me to -- geez!
And I could not stand any more judgement over that darn forgotten BDAY cake. SHEESH.Stay tuned for the next post of: How I Made Up For Ruining My 11 Year Olds Birthday By Forgetting Her Cake and Other Short Stories and Recipes.
I am working on shortening my titles. Please don't judge me.
Big Pink Fuzzy Heart with Glitter,
CG
8 comments:
Maybe you should wait till summer to sell your house.
just sayin'... You might get a better offer.
I love that cheese hashbrown casserole at CB!
i could live in the barrel of crack. it is the sole purpose of my being.
so you took ET to a frat party for her bday? you ROCK! (i'm not judgin)
I love me some Barrel of Crack, too. That sourdough french toast is the bomb!! And the chicken fried chicken and the country fried steak, and the biscuits....Need I go on?
You're the coolest Mom ever!
Mmmmmm.....we, too, love the Barrel of Crack.
And I love me some goat updates!!
oh, as soon as i saw that lattice work wall and those chairs i KNEW you were indulging in barrels and barrels of chicken dumplin crack.
er....
i love cracker barrel. seriously. mmmmmMMMMmmm their macandcheese? to. die. for.
and cake is overrated. at least. store-bought cake it. make carrot cake!!!!
and SO FUNNY that you hang out at frat parties. hehehehe.
I have never been to the Barrel of Crack, not sure we even have one out here. :-)
So did you get to roast marshmellows??? :-) Looks like it was fun. :-)
If there is in fact a perfect time to go to Cracker Barrel, it's definitely 11a. You feel perfectly justified in orderin' the biscuits and gravy or the chicken fried chicken (as opposed to the chicken fried steak). You could drink coffee or Dr. Pepper at that hour and nobody's judging. The last time we took all our kids there, our 18yearold-Bonarue-goin-hippy child ask the wattress for 'Darjeeling' tea. She cocked her hip to one side, chomped her gum and said "Ju say sweeet tea, darlin". Gotta love Cracker Barrel.
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