My Spawn Are Addicts

My spawn, who are SUPPOSE to have my genetic code of sleeping in flowing through their veins but I question whether they switched em out in the hospital or not, woke up at some ungawdly hour Sunday morning so I did what all good loving compassionate mothers of the year do -- I rolled over, pulled the comforter or my head and told them to go downstairs and play - QUIETLY.

I was then awoken by this crying face beside my bed, "Someone has eaten all my doughnuts and I got NONE."Uhm, I know I JUST woke up and I am not always the brightest crayon in the box. But I had my doubts as to the innocence of Middle Twerp. I also had this feeling in my stomach that it could be a possible potential that maybe my kitchen might look like a war zone. But I didn't care. Cause it was still too dark out. And we're selling the house.

But I could not sleep above the wails and screams of these boys, so I got up and CAREFULLY walked down the stairs to find MT trying to pry something out of Baby Twerp's mouth. Shouting the WHOLE time...."Baby Twerp ate all the doughnuts and I HAD NONE." I simply walked over to my sweet precious Baby Twerp and asked his ever so honest angel face, "Sweetheart, did you eat the doughnuts?" He shook his head no. Well, that settled it then.I continued, "Not even ONE? You did not even hold it up to your lips? Even for a second." Again, his denial was unprecedented. So basically, I KNOW my spawn would NEVER LIE so I think they are doing cocaine.

I am fine with this. As long as there are still doughnuts when I wake up.

Which will at least be another hour.