Monday, December 1, 2008

I Met A Blogger and She Was Not A 40 Yr Old Man In Whitie Tighties

Saturday morning I loaded the Boys Twerps in the car at my parent's house and drove a little bit north to meet a blog friend. Sure she SAID she was a woman. Sure she SAID she had kids. Sure she SAID she had never done hard time...but I am just sayin, you never know. So we met in a public place so people would at least SEE me kicking and screaming as a 40 year old man in a wife beater drug me out to his El Camino. I am a safety girl like that and all.I made the Twerps notice all emergency exits and they knew to run if the code word was given.... The code word, you ask? Why nothing other than: THUNDERCATS GO! But Working Mom arrived and lo and behold she WAS a woman...and she DID have kids.Although I still wonder if she has done hard time or not. I kid. I kid.

But I think all my skepticism had a serious affect on Baby Twerp. He made it WELL known that certain areas were for BOYS only...NO girls allowed. And when The Girl thought about maybe possibly considering playing with Baby Twerp...He handed her gloves. You never know what those girls might carry. I heard they even have cooties. But seriously, Marchelle is about the cutest thang EV-A. Seriously. And her camera was better than mine. And she took lots of better pics than me. Except the only one she took of me I look like Elvira. I kid you not. You can read all about here point of view HERE. But I swear I am a dead ringer for Elvira...minus the boobs.Anyhoo...we made our way to the bubble room and the boys were livin it up... Baby Twerp took a little while to warm up, so Working Mom buddied up with him to make him feel a little more comfy. Soon, they were BFFs.
And I was SUPPOSE to be watching the girl. But I was SUPER busy taking these pics and all...And when I looked over, she was snackin...
Ooops. Well, at least I got a photo, right?
Soon, Baby Twerp realized he was within 8,421 feet of ...GASP...a girl. SO he put on his protective eye wear. Just in case she had the pink eye and all.Okay, so here is where the story gets a little BIZARRO. Please notice g-ma sitting behind the children. Sure she looks like a sweet Nana there to play with the children...THINK AGAIN.
We were there for over 2 hours and let me tell you, this woman was not assigned to any spawn. None. There were no generations of linage. No one she had begat...She was flying solo. All alone. In a children's museum.
And what would a 60 year old woman be doing alone in a children's museum in the middle of the country?Why pluck her eyebrows of course. And what would Baby Twerp do with a strange old woman all alone in a children's museum plucking her eyebrows?
Ask for one as a souvenir. WHERE ARE HIS GLOVES AND PROTECTIVE EYE WEAR? For the love of sweet Jesus!But all in all I am SO glad I met Working Mom. I am even SO GLADER that she is who she says she is and NOT a 40-yr-old stalker in a wife beater.
Working Mom? I big pink fuzzy heart with glitter LOVE you. When should I expect your family in the Deep South. I am getting the cannons fired up!

9 comments:

Dana and Daisy said...

you two are so funny! I guess this makes you blog sistah's now?

That woman plucking her eyebrows is a little weird though!

edie+steve said...

I am secretly dyin' to have a blog reunion. But the whole 40yo in tightie whities thing....is an ever present danger. My whole purse-being-stolen-fiasco has set me back from trustin' anybody. I'm so happy for you girls though and just have to wonder if you're spouse's give you that same 'you-may-need-professional-help-' look that mine does, when you talk about your 'blog' friends? "So have you met this country girl?" No, but her Aunt Betty makes the best carrot cakes ever and she looks dazzling in smoky eyes....okay?

And I would be soooo excited to do a guest post. Even though i was kinda lookin' forward to hearing from Dolly May. And I'd be REAL nervous. I'll have to shower and curl my hair. Maybe bake some treats......that always gets 'em. Hugs!

Marchelle said...

oh i am DYING over magda and her eyebrows!!!!!!!! she was lookin GOOD!

mr. clean was also glad that you were not a serial killer man.

PS i told him that you had a beach near your 'hood but he aint buyin it. so we will pick all ya'll up on our way to panama city where we can leave all the kids in the condo with ET and go party it up at club la vela. but bring your cannon.

christy said...

Funny post! Love it! Weird lady! Love that too!

Linda said...

Glad she wasn't a scary man! You both did the right thing; neutral ground public meeting. Sounds like the kids had a good time too. I want to play in the bubble room! Aww man, they didn't have stuff like that in the "old days".

Laura said...

I'm still laughing over the El Camino. Good call.

Lo said...

i love love love this :) but creepy memaw? yikes!!!!!!!!

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

People think I've cracked up when I tell them about the funny/sad/poignant/nutty stories i read on your blog but i have to admit i've never met you. the offer to come to TX and eat Goode Co. BBQ and have spicy pecans still stands. We don't think we're weird wifebeater types..

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