Bedtime Stories Country Girl Style

When the boys want me to tell them a bed time story I make sure they know what they are getting themselves into. Since I am not a boy and all, I do not have the testosterone level to talk about guns and guts and violence. I am more of a rainbow and unicorn kinda girl. They need to understand this up front and sign releases.

They agreed and SWORE they were fine if I added momma flair to my bedtime story. I let them pick the cast of characters: Spiderman, Venom, Green Goblin, and Iron Man. I told them up front I could not work under these conditions so they let me add MJ. My agent was fine with this. I began....One spring day MJ was getting ready for a party in NYC. She was in her 14th floor loft slipping on her strappy Neiman Marcus heels when she heard something at the window. She opened the window to the fresh breeze and realized it was only the birds chirpping (insert me doing my Cinderella bird chirp. Not to brag or anything, but I am good at this.) As she pulled out her lip gloss to add the finishing touches to her Bare Minerals Shimmer Shine look, she saw something out of the corner of her eye -- it was the Green Goblin on his little motorized thingy. And she yelled, Hail-ip Hail-ip! Sp-eye-derman, I am a damsel in distress. Hail-ip. (This is in my best southern belle voice.)And soon Spiderman and his trusty side kick Ironman come round the bend to save their helpless beautiful MJ. They begin wrapping the Green Goblin up in webby stuff and Ironman keeps a look out, cause guess who is comin round the corner? YES -- Venom! And he tackles Spiderman and MJ screams...and faints.As she falls out her window plummeting to the ground...her hair whisping round her face....Spiderman must leave the evil guys to save his one true love. He sticks out his web slinger hand and gently scoops her to safety. She flutters her eyes and sees her hero place her gently in her room as he flies off to fight her attackers.Then Ironman and Spiderman do some pows and some kaboom stuff and they take out Venom and the Green Goblin. They run off scared.And Spiderman and MJ run off into the city of New York as it begins to sprinkle glitter...and they live happily ever after.That's how my bedtime stories roll.