Thursday, January 15, 2009

Don't Hate -- Appreciate

There are certain things that I am kinda freaky about. Not many. Because basically having more than four would be considered "details" and I think we have established that DETAIL is not my middle name. Although it might kinda have a nice ring to it Country Detail Girl....what do you think? I am just sayin...it might grow on you....

Anyhoo, there are a few things that make me gag and squirm and clinch my butt cheeks in disgust. Stop your judgin. You know you do it too.

And I am gonna take the liberty in tellin you what they are. In case I ever become paralyzed and unable to talk, you will call IJ and say...PLEASE for all that is good and lovely in this world don't make CG endure these travesties. Cause he might get mad at me one day and subject me to my hiney clinching fears.

So here they are. Don't hate -- appreciate.

1. Flushing the toilet while I am still on it. I am sorry but the mere thought of small particles of toilet water splashing on me makes me clinch. And gag. And squeal. Cause it is one thing to have clean toilet water (is there such a thing?) splash, but used toilet water on my hiney is too much for me to endure....and it is cold. I have to be completely done and all zipped up before I flush. And then I use my toe and run. I feel this protects me from any forgein spray-age.

2. Fresh moist stringy airborne mucous. AKA Snot Rockets. You know, when someone is laughin and snot goes a flyin....or coughin without coverin their mouth! It makes me gag -- I kid you not, I was on a plane one day and the guy next to me sneezed a flying string of mucous staight on my knee. And I was wearin a skirt. Without panty hose. Above the knee. And I knew not what to do....so I ever so thoroughly wiped it on the palm of my hand and rubbed in on his knee, smiled, and said, "I think this is yours." Ironically, he did not respond.

3. Salty kisses. Nothing makes me spit and spew more then when IJ comes home from his marathon training and I am lying on the couch watching Young and the Restless and eatin bon bons, and I give him a big old smooch only to taste salt -- sweaty salt. Basically, I just licked sweat. And I gag.

4. Raw chicken skin. I am sorry, but I have to think happy thoughts in far off lands with unicorns and rainbows anytime I am dealin with raw chicken skin. Cause it make me clinch my hiney cheeks. Nuff said.

So that is it. Those are my hiney clinchin idiosyncrasies. Remember, don't hate -- appreciate.

I told you yours, now you tell me mine....Oh wait. I told you mine, now you tell me yours. Details Schmetails.

9 comments:

Molly said...

You are not alone, I completly agree with number 3, the salty kiss. Mike always wants to kiss me after he has been working and swaeting and it totally grosses me out, I know, I know the vows say in sickness and in health but jeez guys give us a break were girls and we like pretty, cupcakey things and SWEET kisses not SALTY!!
Have a great night!!
~Molly P

Sarah said...

I'm with you on all 4. I think you're pretty normal, sorry!:) Or at least not as abnormal as you might think.

Marchelle said...

i am strictly anti-phlegm.
i do not tolerate hockers, snot, slime, or mucus in any form.

so please tell me you really did NOT touch that man's snot and wipe it on his leg!!! OMG i just threw up in my mouth a little. i dont know what i would have done!

probably pass out. and hope that he would take care of it while i was unconcious.

Jenn said...

I CANNOT handle raw meat.....whether it's chicken, steak, hamburger. You name it. I refuse to touch it. I will use tongs. And chicken skin? Barf.

Anonymous said...

OMGosh, I have the gag reflex goin' on....seriously my stomach just turned. I could do my kids when they were little but anyone else......CG you are one brave girl! Meemaw

PS I've missed your blog. Broseph took his "puter" with him to Arkansas for 5 wks of training. I couldn't possibly use the "other one". I love the laptop. I was told I was breaking "house rules" the other night. WM's dad said I had not only the laptop but remote AND the phone all at my disposal. I was made to give at least one up. I handed him the phone. (which is NOT what he wanted! lol)

Dana and Daisy said...

It may be here that we part paths Country Girl, because the one thing that makes me gag a maggot is when people DO NOT courtesy flush! And the smell persists about into other areas of the home, or forbid into the office corridors or public spaces of say restaurants, shopping and other shared places.

Because contrary to most people's beliefs, their own pooh does stinketh!

Dreams of a Country Girl said...

dana -- don't get me wrong girl -- I ALWAYS flush...just haev to be all dressed up when i do.

Beki said...

Oh I am crying and I can't breathe, and my co-worker just looked at me funny.

My hiney clencher is vomit, especially baby vomit. BLECH. How I ever made it through the baby years I will never know, because the smell of sour, curdled baby formula vomit makes my nose hairs curl and I see stars.

Chris said...

The 'wet spot'. He knows that, if it ends up on my side, he has to change the sheets before he can go to sleep. I'm going to go faint of embarrassment now.