Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What Makes Me....Me?

Dana asked me the other day what has happened in my life to make me ... well, me. I know she is looking for an answer like I was dropped on my head NUMEROUS times or that I was locked in a dark closet for years or maybe my momma smoked a little happy weed when she was prego with my eggo. All of these could be possibilities but I don't remember any of them. But that ain't sayin much. That happy weed coulda fried most my brain cells anyways.

But I know what you were askin Dana - the whole acceptance and love thang. And I don't really have an answer except for this:

Nature + Nurture = You. I know. Deep, deep thoughts. Aren't you glad I didn't charge ya for this?

First let me say I have ALWAYS been a sensitive kid. Like, embarrassingly sensitive. I was the sixth grader who cried at Fox and the Hound. I was the eighth grader who cried at Carrie. I was the junior that cried at the Feed The Children commercials. I cry at the thought of possibly the potential of someone being treated unfairly. My feelings could and would get hurt at the drop of a hat. I felt others' pain maybe more than I did my own (Mom, remember my hunger strike after the homeless man at King's Island?) It is just how I have always been...a blubbering cryin basket case.

On the other hand, I think life's experiences teach you some valuable lessons. And inevitably, hurts. But it is all about what you do with that...do you play the victim or shake it off and make something of it?

Cause you know what I believe?

I believe that our personal passion is often rooted in our personal pain.
And it seems to me the deeper our pain, the deeper our passion.

Have you noticed this about people? The one who has experienced something difficult is then the one who can make a difference with others going through the same thing?

A pregnant teen grows up to run a pregnancy crisis center?

Or the young boy who gets caught up in drugs becomes the counselor at the local clinic?

Because life's lessons have a tendency to humble us and chip off the arrogance of your youth. At least it did for me.

So, I guess Dana, if there is anyone in this world who has needed forgiveness and acceptance more than me ... I have not met them. I, at one time or another, have embodied all the ugliness I can imagine. I know I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I use to be.

And at then end of the day, if I could possibly, maybe, even a little help someone feel loved for being exactly who they are - then how could I not?

How about you? What is your passion? Do you agree or do you still think it might be the happy weed? Maybe even as we speak?


Linda said...

I don't care if it's Happy Weed. You inspire me every.day. to be a better, more comassionate person. Thank you. (I'm known around the office as the cold hearted B***h in accounting.)

Dana and Daisy said...

I have to think this through before answering.

Oh, no I never thought it was weed! But the serious part of your question, I need to think about.

I think you rock CG!

feather k said...

Well said. I agree. Compassion can inspire your passion and vice versa….

AndreaLeigh said...

i think i'm for a sure a more empathetic person for what i've experienced personally. and that age is a definate factor in who I am today - the older I get, the more i become more of my own person and less of who other people think I should be.

great post!

CindyDianne said...

We each need compassion and forgiveness - you are NOT alone! My passion? Oh my! I am the multiple personality disorder of passions. I'll have to get back with you about it.

Lo said...

you inspire me daily. i have donated so much more these past few months than i have in three years. that? is amazing.

not sure if you believe in this, but... you're a cancer, girl. this is what we DO. (my bday is july 17th! woohoo!) we are compassionate and empathetic and caring. and we feel. oh, lordy, do we feel.

but we love. and oh, girl, do we know how to love. it's that love that helps this world. and i am so glad my world involves you :)

Dana and Daisy said...

I'm still trying to answer that question about what is my passion. Because I know what my hurts are and I know where the line is for me on certain topics, but I have to admit, I have been silenced by my pain, and I don't often break out the sword of my passion.

And I admit sometimes I am harsh, cold, unaccepting of people. Sometimes I am sarcastic when a person really needs a hug. Sometimes I hold onto grudges and don't forgive. And then I think about that verse, forgive me of my trespasses as I forgive those who have trespassed against me. Whew! Is that what I really want? uh, no. not always.

But you inspire not just me, but many other people, hello, read the above. And I am going to try to be better.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the post and thanks for YOU. You just make me feel good every day---and for that, I am most grateful.
For some reason, as I approach "old age", I have become a blubbering fool over just about anything--guess I always held my feelings just out of sight and ready to be seen---but not like now. It's embarrassing at times but not all bad
My 9th Grandbaby is due in March and I know I will fall apart when I hold her for the first time. :-)