Sunday, February 8, 2009

Call Me Barabara Walters But With a Mullet And With Kids Who Make Meth Labs

Saturday morning I woke up and took Middle Twerp to the doctor. Indiana Jones had some school work to do, so I look all three Twerps with me - so he could have some peace and quiet.

Middle Twerp needed some cream for his "skin rash" {we will leave it at that}. And I threw it in the backseat and turned up Beyonce. When I turned around to sing the chorus, I saw this.....
Apparently Baby Twerp thought this was a leather treatment ... oh lordy be. I took him home to get cleaned up before we went to McDonald's. This is Baby Twerp's face as he thought we would be leaving without him....I felt no sympathy. None. Well, maybe a little. But just a tiny.
After that drama, Eldest Twerp and I went to get our hair cut.
She wants something short so it does not take so long to blow it dry. I wanted something hip and cool so we can look alike -- cause I am super cool, right?
This is what we meshed upon. And I think she looks cute as a button. I was in a poopy mood. I looked old and drab and I have crows feet.
I also think I look like a baked potato. An overbaked wrinkly baked potato. I realized there is no hope for me. Stick a fork in it. I am done. I told her to give me a mullet. and feather the sides. Business in the front. Party in the back.
I have no pics. Picture a cross between Barbara Walters and Billy Ray Cyrus. I look like that, but older. And with crows feet.
In order to bring me out of my depression, IJ took me to a new Mexican restaurant. He made sure it was dark -- VERY dark. And he had 6 beers. Then, if he held his head just right, I looked kinda purty. Since we have moved to our new house in our new city in our new state in our new time zone, I have yet to find a Mexican Restaurant that tames the Hispanic girl within me.
But this place?
This place comes pretty close. And one of the main things I enjoyed was the wait staff .....
Seriously! tell me that is not talent. I just big pink fuzzy heart with glitter love this kind of skillz. I tried it this morning with breakfast. It didn't go so well.
So I fed them brownies and no one complained.
After breakfast, these two spent two hours -- YES I SAID TWO HOURS - putting together a Star Wars Lego thingy.
I could have cared less if they were putting together a meth lab.
It was TWO hours of peace and quiet.
And it gave me time to wash my mullet and call around for botox prices for my crows feet.
The family thought I should go ahead and check on a total face lift while I was at it.
Whatever.....Even ET was looking through the paper to find me some deals. Cause of the tough times and all.
That's how the weekends roll at CG's house. Amen.


Denise said...

If you went out in public, surely you could post a picture for the rest of us. I'm sure your new do is gorgeous. Even if it is not though, I will lie and tell you it is. Promise. Anyway, you still have a pretty face.

edie said...

Every girl should at some time in her life, sport a mullet. I chose 7th AND 8th grade but a 30something mullet is not a bad choice either. If IJ was any kind of a supportive husband, he'd wear a mullet for a while too. Kinda like matchin' sweatshirts. IJ?

Amy said...

Sounds like you are having a "PMS" hair-don't instead of a hair-do, pity-city kinda weekend. Hope you start feeling better soon. We always are our own worst critics. You're a beautiful turn that frown upside down and put on some Dr. Peppa' lip gloss. You are loved :)

Sally Pepper said...

SO, I just found your blog and love it. I think I love it so much because this could be my life you're describing....except that you're cooler and have better hair. do....have good hair. Also, we moved 3 years ago and I have yet to find a good Mexican restaurant. You're much luckier than me. Love your blog!

Nicole Mc said...

Show us your hair!! :) I'm usually the one doing the Star Wars legos.....I kind of like it though,it's relaxing. But then i go off the deep end when i find it in shambles 5 minutes later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Hello... It's Me Again..." said...

You are a cool momma that goes to school pajama dances! Your hair looks great and with your 'fun mom' attitude, you could wear aluminum foil in your hair every day and it would become the hip thing to do all the grade school girls and their moms would do it just to be cool like you. You rock!

Have a great week!

Marchelle said...

I am bringing back crows feet.

They're the new black.

Cowgirl said...

You are hysterical! You crack me up, seriously! I just found your blog, and think I'll have to come back to visit! :) You brightened my afternoon, for sure.

Cowgirl in the City