Sooooo, I went to Eldest Twerp's first. school. dance Friday night and we honestly had a boot scootin boogie time of it. I can say that now that I am sportin a mullet like Billy Ray and all.
Anyhoo, while we were there I kinda was takin back to my middle school years and forgot I was actually thirty-blah-blah-blah-ish. They had this knock off of Dr Pepper, aka lover of my soul, named -- I kid you not -- Dr. Radical. And in some poor white trailer trash kinda way, I liked it. A lot. A whole lot. Enough to chug three. In two minutes. With a bong. I kid. I kid. About the last part only. Kinda.
Anyhoo, while I was on my third Dr. Radical, lovin life, swayin my hips to Come On Ride That Train, and stuffin pepperoni pizza in between swigs....when a kind and beautiful lady walked up to me and touched my arm.
Her sweet eyes captivated me and made me feel a little immature, so I swallowed my stuffed cheeks of pizza as quickly as I could and finished off the remainder of the Dr. Radical so I could speak to her.
She looked at me and said, "You are such a beautiful lady. It is obvious how much you encompass life. You just have a glow about you."
Well LORDY BE! I have never. I think she might just be my new BFF.
I opened my mouth to say something equally as flattering and classy, and then. I felt it.
Deep within the bowels of my body, I felt the gas of Dr. Radical come rising to the upper chamber.
And as soon as I opened my mouth to say THANK YOU, the burp that could have accompanied the alphabet came rolling out of my esophagus. Along with a pepperoni pizza linger.
I think the glow disappeared from my face. And she saw me in a whole new light.
Poor ET. Amen.