Monday, May 4, 2009

I Am Asthmatic

We lived in Oklahoma for 11 years. ELEVEN years. And not once did my spawn ever ask to fly a kite. Sure, they have not been brought forth into this word for eleven years YET....but they coulda asked in my womb.

All I am sayin is that we lived in OKLAHOMA -- land of the wind. I do not know if you are aware of this or not, but Oklahoma is where the wind comes sweeping down the plains. I have been there. They ain't lyin and all. Seriously.
But we have been in Georgia, land of no wind, for not even a year and pleas for kites have abounded. So...IJ bought our spawn a kite. And I post this pic cause he is readin them there directions. I was all like PUMP THE BREAKS.....are you reading the INSTRUCTIONS??? Or as Middle Twerp like to call them, "The Constructions." Yea, he thinks he is cute.
So anyhoo, MT decides to fly his kite. Let me just state some meteorological facts. The temp: 91 degrees. Wind Speed: 0 mph. Barometric Pressure: I was sweatin.
But, I think I sneezed and it happened. The kite began to lift.
And we were hooping and hollering like we didn't have a lick of sense....And a snapped a few pics....Right before it crashed to the ground in a surprisingly quick descent.I was all like, "Oh doggies. Whoo Hoo. That was fun. Time to go inside to the air conditioning and drink some lemonade." But no one was listening.We repeated this predictable descent 8,421 more times. Approximately.
While this was going on a snapped a few pics of the flowers I planted. They look like dwarf flowers. I know. I know. I want Black Eyed Susans. Don't you think black eyes Susans are the sweetest flower?? I do. But I always picture Susan a victim of domestic violence. Maybe that is why I am so drawn to that flower. I feel I must save her. She is probably shackin up with that there Snap Dragon. My, my....TEMPER, TEMPER.
Anyhoo, Indiana Jones finally looked at me and said, "Honey, Darling, Babycakes, Love of my Life (OK, I am making that part up) I can't run with my freshly surgery-uponed you are gonna have to take over." Uhmmmm... ex-squeeze me? Did someone say RUN??? So, let me give ya'll a visual. Here I am in my darling kitten heels, with my camera, running down the road....holding a kite....and as some would call it "sweating." But I prefer "glistening."
And of course this was super awesome to MT so we had to do it again. And again.
And I finally faked an asthma attack. But he learned to do it by himself.
So, see? My theory is I am not a lazy parent. I am teaching INDEPENDENCE.
{insert wheezing}


Linda said...

faked an asthma attack...why did I never think of that!?? Sure beats "Aunt Linda is old and can't run anymore"
Looks like a great day! Glad you got the reading directions on film cuz no one would believe it. I'm gonna have to show that to the ELPH! See Honey! Men DO read directions!!!

Marchelle said...

first of all, i can't believe you didn't think of this on your own - you tie it to the bumper of your car, and drive around with the AC on. no glistening, no wheezing. you can drink your lemonade. problem solved.

second, knee-schmee. suck it up IJ. sheesh.

Dana and Daisy said...

Uhm? Is that your hood? You are livin' high on the hawg girlfriend!

these are great pics of MT! He's such an adventurer!

the wind was driving me nuts, but whew! it's calmer now! I was thinking we needed to get a kite and surrender to it.

thecrazysheeplady said...

That's one awesome kite. Festival worthy I believe!