Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I Yam What I Yam.

Sooooo, we have a little park in your neighborhood. It is nice and quaint and they really do a great job of keeping it up. This past weekend the Local Tennis Playoffs were at your subdivision's courts. And we went down to cheer our neighbors on. It was hot and everyone was sipping there martinis and calling for the cabana boy and wearing their jewels with their designer tennis skirts. I was in Old Navy and flip flops. And I drank a beer. And it was so good I burped. Anyhoo, it was not long that the Twerps were crying to cool off in the creek. And of course I took them down there to wet their feet. The sound of the little water fall was relaxing and peaceful and...and.... Ought-Oh....
That beer was kicking in and I HAD TO PEE - just a little at first...so I started to tell the spawn I had brought forth into this universe to come on out of the creek and pack a bag cause we had to go home cause I had to pee pee.
They said, "What you talkin bout Willis?" And then, I HAD TO PEE. And there was no holding it. And the creek sound was KILLIN ME. And I couldn't make it.....Oh Oh Oh...The pee pee dance had ensued.
So, I did what any country club, tennis playing, jewel wearing, martini drinkin, classy woman would do. I pulled down my pants and peed in the woods.

In the words of Popeye, "I Yam What I Yam."

I am gonna fit in fine around here. Right? Right? Hello? Anyone?

Amen.

12 comments:

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

Girl, when ya gotta go ya gotta go!!! I'm with ya......since there's not nice loos in the middle of the woods with towel ladies, I would have done the same thing (but I would be on the lookout for spidey's the whole while, lol).
Priceless post :)

Steady On
Reggie Girl

~Mad said...

Don't ever change!

~Mad in Alabama

Linda said...

Got to love a Girl who'll pee in the woods. Just watch for poison ivy!

Christy said...

I've had to pee in the woods before, too. I'm just always worried a bug is going to jump on my butt. I'd almost rather pee in my pants than have a bug on my rear. Right?

Farmgirl Paints said...

What's a girl to do? That is so not fun though.

edie said...

You can take the girl outta the country, but......

You so fit in sister.

feather k said...

yes...you iz what you iz...and i love you!

Jackie said...

As we say in my neck of the woods....If you gotta go and there aren't any facili-tees, use the facili-trees instead. ;)

Thanks for the laugh,
Jackie

mimi said...

I would much rather pee in the woods than in many bathrooms I've been in. In fact, back in the day....my friends and I would run outside to pee instead of using the facilities where we were. TMI?

Dana and Daisy said...

well, just last fall, one of my step sons friends downed hi pants in my neighbors yard and peed. He was 16 though. The neighbor did not look fondly on it, nor did the police who were called out.

So, you know, just be discreet!

Marchelle said...

just wait til i git there. they ain't gonna know what done hit em.

ellie may commeth.

The woman said...

U wizz what you wizz :) When I have to squat in the bush and I get caught on a stick..... I sooooo get PENIS ENVY!