Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Help Me Rhonda

Help me Rhonda. Or Shelly. Or Dana. Or Ashley. Or Pam. Or Beatrice. Or Ethel. Or Lucresha. Anybody. I am sending an SOS to the world. Can someone please read my message in a bottle?

I am in trouble. Right her in River City. I am talkin waaaayyy in over my head.

It is Eldest Twerp.

I kid you not. I joke you negative. Someone has kidnapped her. Maybe terrorists. Probably aliens. But she is not her. Her is not she. Oh where art my sweet angelic child that obeyed. And used manners. And smiled. And didn't agrue with everything I ever asked. And never. Nev AH rolled her eyes or stood in a propetual state of annoyance.

Have you seen my sweet ET?

Cause she has been replaced with this....this...this... Preteen. And we are not meshin.

I am talking annoying. I mean I love her, but people are not gonna wanna hang out with her. Uhm, by people I mean me. I am sorry. But I am strugglin.

Soooo. If you can pray or say hail mary's or rub Budah's belly please do so.

Bring my baby back. Amen.


Anonymous said...

This happened completely all the sudden? Don't laugh, but she could be constipated!! Happens to my 9 year old about once a year!

If it is hormones, I pray for you.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to tell you that it's likely the aliens will leave you with this being for several years. The good news is they will bring back your daughter. The bad news is they will probably abduct one of your son's about the same time.

Marchelle said...

whoooooooooooooooooooaaa nellie.....

Dana and Daisy said...

bless your heart! and hers too. I've been praying for you and her. As soon as I saw the words Middle School, I was like, uh oh!

I'm sending you an email, so you can read my advice and laugh, cry or tear it up in tiny pieces in private if you want to, and remember I ain't exactly got all the answers to my own situation. But I will give you what I got.

Love, Dana

Kelley said...

Regarding this....I have some good news and I have some bad news.

The good: She's comin' back.

The bad: You've got a while to wait.

My formerly sweet, sweet boy went haywire on me around age 12. And, today, one week from his SIXTEENTH birthday I actually recognize him again. It's been a gradual return and, even in the midst, God still granted me a sighting every now and again! Best wishes!

Swartzmomto3 said...

Go read this and it may help a little! http://movingmama.blogspot.com/2009/06/12.html I have a 12 year old too so I feel your pain! Kidnappers, terrorists, aliens are not welcome here!

Linda said...

Oh my sister is going through that with her TWIN girls! Yea. I get an almost daily "rant" call. It's what sisters are for:)

Scrappy Girl said...

If you find her please find my 13 year old and send her home too cause the person who sat across the living room from me last night glaring at me is not her.

bakerchick103 said...

My oldest will be 12 in December. God help me.

Stacey said...

I will pray - any maybe they will find my sweet now 16 year old with your sweet ET. :) Hang in there! Your a great mom - so she of course will snap out of it!

Cynthia said...

It is so sad when kids get abducted like that. They really do come back at some point. The not-so-lovely behavior is usually saved just for mom (and sometimes other family members) yet they are lovely and gracious out in the world. I always figured I could love them through it and wait it out. Good luck! Hopefully, you'll only have to deal with it one child at a time.

Shellgirl said...

Okay, okay, I get to tell you what I tell myself/my husband/my sister/my friends, EVERYBODY that goes thru this whole wonderful thing of puberty and then forgets what it's like!

Remember when you were ET's age, and your mom was the DUMBEST person on the planet, your life went from being absolutely perfect to absolutely AWFUL in 10 seconds or less every hour, and your body started doing the WEIRDEST things, that you had no control over?

Remember when you suddenly got this remarkable brain that gave you all these really funny things to say that nobody else on the planet thought was funny--but you do, so you say them all the time? Remember when you'd have moments of complete clarity of how wonderful and perfect the world could be if everyone else around you would just CHILL and let you do what you want to do?

Yeah. Welcome to the part where we get paid back in spades for all that we dealt to our own parents!

Nicole McLaughlin said...

Mothers of River City!
Heed the warning before it's too late!
Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!
The moment your son leaves the house,
Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee?
Is there a nicotine stain on his index finger?
A dime novel hidden in the corn crib?
Is he starting to memorize jokes from Capt.
Billy's Whiz Bang?
Are certain words creeping into his conversation?
Words like 'swell?"
And 'so's your old man?"
Well, if so my friends,
Ya got trouble,
Right here in River city!
With a capital "T"
And that rhymes with "P"
And that stands for Pool.
We've surely got trouble!

Nicole McLaughlin said...

ummm....i love that song and that verse sort of FIT! :) My son is 9 and ALREADY giving me trouble!! I feel you girl, i so feel you!

feather k said...

all I can say is she is her mother's daughter....

Lemonade Makin' Mama said...

That's too funny... I can't wait for those years. I kid.

Anonymous said...

I know there's the middle school/hormone thing going on, but when I read your post I couldn't help but think. . . . . how happy I was for you both!

I remember before the move to the new house you posting about difficulties with friends, some insecure moments, etc. Now, there are good friends for her, she is happy, she is feeling confident enough in herself to stretch her wings. That's a good thing! The bad thing is that at this age it usually means being at odds with most everything your parents say! As everyone else said, it's normal around this age. Isn't it nice to have a lovely daughter who's normal?!!! Just don't let that normal drive ya too crazy!!! :-) Hang in there!

jenn said...

Howdy Country Girl! My Eldest boy is 11 and graduated from elementary school today!! Off to middle school and Lord help us all!! I am understandin' your pain--we are starting to experience it more and more lately! I fear it's only beginning! Good luck and I will be staying tuned for more--let us know if you find the hormone that stole your daughter from you!

Anonymous said...

Three little letters...PMS!

Jackie said...

Lots of preemptive hugs.

That's all I got. ;)

Amber said...

My daughter has already started this...age 10. :-( She's always moody too! I can't take 2 bad girls..my littlest one is naturally insane...I need strength!