Sunday, August 23, 2009

I Am Joining a Cult, Please Come Along - Don't Tell Your Ma

I embrace new things. I love to stretch myself. To grow to try something new. To branch out on the journey of the unknown.

For example just last week I tried "Shrimp and Grits" and can I just say BE STILL MY BEATING HEART!

Shrimp and Grits + CG = True Love Forever

I wanna marry them -- LOVER OF MY SOUL.

May we please have a moment of silence for my thighs.

Thank you.


Anyhoo, I like change. I love to try new things. I have an hankerin for adventure.

So in order to embark in growth and adventure I am gonna step out there and try something different.

But here is the deal -- I need you. I cannot do it alone. I cannot forge through this life altering moment of CHANGE without you.

I am not a rock. I am not an island. I am more of a peninsula or is it isthmus.

So - here I go. I am about to tell you the "new thing" I shall do. Please do not laugh. Please do not have expectations that I WILL BE GOOD! Please do not judge me.

Please only know this -- I need you now. More than words can say. I need you now, and I gotta find a way.

I am going to join...

a new group.

A club of sorts.

But you cannot join alone.

So I guess in essence it is kinda like a cult.

I am joining a cult and I want 9 of you to join with me.

Please don't judge me.

I am crossin over to the unknown. I have seen these people before, I have heard them speak of their cult, I have never understood. Now, I am seeking to become one of them. To cross over.


But what fun shall it be without you all?

So here is the deal -- I need 9 of you to join with me.

What? What is that you say? You know nothing of the mere mention of football?

Ha ha hoo hoo hee hee giggle giggle snort.

Nor do I -- that is what when I set it up, I went ahead and asked for 8 tight ends.

It's a girl thing.

So here is the scoop:
  1. You create an ESPN account HERE. Its free and easy. (All you need is an email address)
  2. Email me and ask for out League's Password (
  3. Then go to the Fantasy Football page -- Click here
  4. Our League is "Dreams of a Country Girl"
  5. Join me (Come on, everybody's doin it)
  6. I have set us all up on Auto Draft Picks for August 31. That way they choose our teams for us (Who is "they" I don't know. I assume old men with beer bellies like Mike Dikta. Remember the Super Bowl Shuffle? We're not here to start no trouble....we're just here to do the ..... Anyone? Anyone? Sorry someone with more knowledge than me will pick our teams,and we just judge them by there looks...and their "tight ends" Hypothetically speaking of course.
  7. Then the league starts and we just check it and we can email each other and drink wine and say things like "I am so sorry I beat you this week. But you have that precious Kurt Warner -- isn't he so darling? So even while you may be loosing, you are still a winner." Cause that's how we girls play
  8. Unless it is me who wins -- then I might buy a sash and crown.
  9. Hypothetically speaking
  10. And in a dream world -- on our leagues FINAL GAME (is there one? i am clueless) Maybe all 10 of us can meet at my house and watch and drink wine and eat sinful desserts and apply Dr Pepper lip gloss and make matching puffy-paint shirts

So puh-leez for the love of sweet Jesus and for all that is good and holy in this world, join this new cult with me.

Email me at :

and let's get this party started!?!?!?

PS Indiana Jones and I have a bet who (if any) of you will respond. Please don't make me lose. :)


Marla @ Stolen Bon Bons said...

I just signed up and sent you an email!

Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

I have NO clue when it comes to football but if you end up needing one more person to join count me in, anything for you :)

Dana and Daisy said...

i will have to pray about it.

Marla @ Stolen Bon Bons said...

Okay I'm set up. Now what do I!?!?!

bakerchick103 said...

I'm in. Sent you an email. Hmmm, what have I gotten myself into?

Journaling Woman said...

I would do it, but then I would have to kill myself, since I really really don't like football. Really. This is not personal, OH NO, it's just football. So Sorry.

Love your blog!


Cindy said...

Me thinks I should check this out. Gotta warn ya though, I'm a football chick!

Shellgirl said...

oh!!!!! okay, you talked me into it. I can't stand peer pressure!

Anonymous said...

I would LOVE to do Fantsay Football....BUT....I don't know the 1st thing about Fantasy Football. I'm just starting to learn what goes on during a game.

Anonymous said...

Dr Pepper Lip Gloss??????? Sorry.

I got me a guy league with swearing and trash talk and all.

thecrazysheeplady said...

We can't pick our own teams?!? Yikes - I'd probably draw some loser like Brett (aka Brent) Favre.

Goodwife said...

Bless your silly heart in the world are you going to choose only 9?? Cause I'm SURE that you are going to have waaaay more than that try to sign up!

Katie said...

Tempted. Very tempted.


That's not fair :(

Marchelle said...

ok well now i feel like i HAVE to because of the bet and all.