Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Meet my Freckle-Faced Red-Headed Step Child

There is one healthy quality I have always tried to instill in my children. Not because it is a stellar quality that one must have or that it is something that would make a momma proud. No, I have dedicated my self to this quest only because it is impossible for me not to. For years (how many? did you just ask how many? seriously? uhm, 21. 21 years. Are you snickering? Please see me after class.) For 21 years I have battled this demon. It has consumed me at times. And my philosophy is IF YOU CAN'T BEAT EM JOIN EM. So I shall pass this on to my spawn. I am a giver like that and all.

Competition. Oh yes, we are a tad bit competitive in my house. I got tot he car faster. I have more milk that you. I have a thicker moustache (I always win this one I KID I KID). Anyhoo, competition is the freckle-faced red-headed stepchild of our family. Not that I have anything against freckles or red-heads or step children. I love and embrace all.

But I did not realize with what force this little competitive step-child has taken my family. Until this weekend...

We went to the driving range and straight off the bat (name that quote) Middle Twerp said Wanna see who can hit it the fastest?
With that it was on like Donkey Kong. Now I am not one to be into the details. Cause that is where the devil lives. And well, I love and embrace all -- but Lucifer. He is my exception. So I am gonna help you all out here -- Insert Exhibit A: Please notice that this is taken AFTER the swing. Please notice where the ball is.

Okay, carry on.

So MT turns around and says How you like them apples. Beat that!
Uhm, exsqueeze me -- your ball is STILL ON THE TEE. This seemed to not be a problem.

Next up was BT -- I could just eat him up -- give me a spoon!
Again -- details schmetails but please notice the ball. It was determined by MT that BT's ball was much faster. So somehow -- BT took the lead. I obviously was clueless.
Moving along -- Eldest Twerp was the next item up for bid.
Uhm, I ain't one to judge but she DID hit the ball -- and it rolled off the concrete and onto the fairway. She hit it the farthest of them all.

At this moment I realized (being the competitive mother that I am) one of two things: either I know NOTHING about golf (which is true) or I might have a chance of being the next Tiger Woods. I am sticking with the latter. Amen.


Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

How cute. So where was your swing? How far did your ball go?

Scrappy Girl said...

I have never hit a golf ball off of a mini golf course...I need to try a driving range...and according to MT's rules I may be able to join the next PGA tour!

Deborah said...

My daughter who is 18 is still to this day VERY COMPETITIVE! If she doesn't win, you just shouldn't play! She will be like that forever! My husband is the exact same way..drives me nuts and my son nuts. It's just a game, right! I won't even go bowling with my husband because everything is so competitive! OK< I have to calm down now!! LOL

Linda said...

Competition? Heh! I can do better than that! Watch me "whiff" the ball, twist my back and fall on my well padded behind! Beat that MT!

Dana and Daisy said...

that is so dang cute! so dang cute!

Laura B. said...

Good grief those kiddos are growing a rate unknown to humans!!! I have been so out of the loop for so long...babies tend to do that to a person...that I haven't been keeping up with you like I should! If you want a serious dose of "baby fever" head over to my blog and check out Parker's latest pictures. :-)