Monday, April 5, 2010

The Land that Flows with Milk and Honey

We arrived at the altar of holy paradise Saturday. And my heart cried forth in glory as my soul sang forth the praises of jubilee. My spawn inherited my lust for the ocean.
And they went straight from the car to the beach. In 2.2 seconds.
But this one? This one came a runnin to me -- weeping. Panicked. There. were. crabs. in. the. water. And one touched HIM. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
I then had to explained that a little crabbiness never hurt anyone -- just ask your father, he lives with me! My sign is the crab. I am cancer. He then looked at me confused and forlorned, but got back in the water to love and conquer his fear.And soon, we were naming the hermit crabs. And building small sand condos for them. And I ain't one to gossip, but I am fairly certain Ira was two-timin Mabel cause he kept visiting Earlene's adobe. I'm just sayin. I thew him back in.
And this one? Grrrr to this one. If I ever lay down my camera he sneaks it and takes HUNDRED of pics of one thing and one thing only. There is only one that I could possibly appropriately post.....
Cause he is obsessed with my squishy patooshie. And nobody ev-er wants a zoom lens on that.
But we were back to playin in the sand. And what does one do when one is at the beach? BURY their little brother. And Baby Twerp was all game....
And loving ever minute of it. Until......Until Middle Twerp whispers in his ear, "I put a crab in by your you feel him?""GET ME OUT! GET ME OUT! HELP ME LORD JESUS -- GET ME OUT!!"And I came to the rescue and dug my poor sweet precious angel baby out of the sand. And the hermit crab too. While this one? This one thinks he is the new Johnny Knoxville.

And I need to pray more. Lord knows I'm gonna need it.


Pony Girl said...

Cool picture of the crab. I had to chuckle (and slightly panic) at the thought of being trapped in the sand knowing there was a crab on my foot- although it'd be way worse for me if it was a spider!
Enjoy your vacation.....I could use a little reprieve at an ocean myself right now!

Dana and Daisy said...

you have cute patooshie, you should try having my big ole booty behind you for a change.

The Urban Cowboy said...

I love the ocean, I gotta do a dive trip this year. It's been a while. Looks like you all are having a fun time!

Marchelle said...

i may or may not have a crush on johnny knoxville.

but i do not do hermit crabs. wait til you see the pic of the crawdad we found on easter!