Monday, May 24, 2010

I Am Putting Her In Pigtails

Good Morning my lovely world changers. Uhm, okay -- it is afternoon. Details Schmetails. Please don't judge my time telling abilities. I have ingested no Dr Pepper yet today. Thus, I am unaware of time. Thus, I think I am not aging. Thus, I am still wearing leg warmers. Thus, I shall forever be cool. Amen.

Anyhoo, sooooo several of you freaked out a smidgens cause I kinda bought a house while IJ was out of town. This is what he gets for leaving me with Power of Attorney over him. And three spawn. With only one bottle of Cupcake wine in the fridge. And Whole Foods stopped carrying it. And I fell on the floor and cried out "Father? Father? Why hast though forsaken me?" And the manager came over and had me escorted out. I know. They are so hateful. But I snuck out a Cupcake replacement bottle and instead of grapefruit it is infused with mango. I am more of a grapefruit. In case you were unaware.

Anyhoo -- okay. the house.

As you all are aware (cause you read and reread all 1, 010 entries of my blog on a daily basis and follow every Twitter I tweet - right? Hello? Uhm, tap tap. Anyone there?)

We were unaware if we would be getting orders to go to a far off strange land - like Texas - or not so we did not know if we could buy a house here in the Deep South or if we would be moving once again to a strange and barren land to inhabit. So we waited.

And while we waited, we got orders. To here. To stay. In a land that flows with grits and honey. So I rejoiced. And I was driving home one day and I saw this.... And I stopped cause someone was there. And I loved her. She called to me for a deep place of within. And I looked at her. Deeply looked at her. And saw all her blemished and age marks and imperfections. And I still loved her. For exactly who she was. But knew that a good exfoliation would do wonders.

Then I found out she was getting ready to go into foreclosure. And I could hear he cries for mercy and her pleas for someone to save her before they came a tore her away from everything she ever knew to be good and holy and just. And she wept.

I mean seriously! How could I not just pick her up and take her home with me? Her parents had abandoned her. Left her for the wolves. So I signed some paper work and went home.

And now I drive by her everyday and hang hummingbird feeders from trellises and plant daisies near her foundation. So she can feel as beautiful on the outside as I know she once was. Occasionally I might whisper sweet nothings in her screens. But this is a family blog and all so I will not go into the details.

Anyhoo -- we should find out in 10 business days if the bank who now owns her will take my offer. And if that big old bad bank says no -- I will faltulate in his general direction (name that movie).

Anyhoo -- I love her. I love her. I love her. And where she goes I'll follow. I'll follow. I'll follow. I will follow herrrrr... Follow her where she may go. There isn't an ocean too deep, a mountain so high it can keep -- keep me away. She is my destiny.

Anyhoo -- I am certain IJ will fall in love with her too when he sees her. I plan on putting her in pig tails the first time he meets her. Who can say no to a little girl in pigtails who has been abandoned?


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