I decided to take the kids anywhere they wanted tonight. I asked them, "If you could go anywhere tonight, where would you go?" Middle Twerp immediately answered "Outer Space." I knew I should have given choices. My Eldest Twerp wanted to go to the beach...Join the crew sister. I narrowed it down and they chose CHUCK E CHEESE. For some strange reason, Middle Twerp had to have this hat on before we could leave. It must have screamed Chuck E Cheese to him. When we showed up my first clue should have been the fact I had to park 2 parking lots away. The place was packed. My second clue was that my family had more teeth in our heads than the entire place combined. Now I do not judge these people. I understand how high good dental insurance can be, I just witnessed first hand how difficult it was to eat chicken wings without teeth. And now I value my molars a little more.
It went bad from the start. Chuck E Cheese on a Saturday night on the south side of town could be renamed Lucifer's Den. Anywhere that has to stamp your hand with a matching number to your kids, worries me. Would they think I want to leave with any more children? I barely survived with three. I had to wait 15 minutes in line to order pizza and tokens. I turned around to find Baby Twerp missing. I panicked and searched in the sea of little people. I finally found him. He was eating. This was not our plate. Then I attached him to my hip and waited in line. I had lost my place so I was back at the end. Once finally through, someone was on Baby Twerp's ride. You can see the emotions this brought to the surface.
Then Middle Twerp came up missing. He was at the top of the Teletubiies ride. And the manager was coercing him down. I yelled VERY loudly....get down here to your aunt right now or I am calling your mother. I think this made me look less incompetent. I just looked like the sweet aunt that relieved her poor sister for the evening. I liked this image much better then the horrible mother.
Then I was back to Baby Twerp who had stolen a little girl's skee-balls. She will need therapy.
Well, I was at the end of my rope. I needed a Dr Pepper. I ran over to the fountain machine and found this....Pibb Xtra? This is like ordering shrimp cocktail and getting Mrs. Paul's fish sticks. I fell to my knees weeping and then I went into a coma. When I came to, the kids had eaten and played with the depressing, giant rat who is their mascot. We finally made our way to the door. As we walked out I noticed this on the menu board.
Somehow, this makes more sense now.