Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Dolphin's Distant Cousin...Kinda

As many of you know, Middle Twerp has been in therapy since we moved here due to the fact that his pet dolphin was not awaiting him in his backyard when he arrived in his new home, in his new city, in his new state. I thought he should go ahead and get use to a therapist cause he will need it a lot more once we have finished raising him. How the dolphin thought popped into his head, I haven't the slightest clue...but I totally blame it on the babysitter -- Cass!

We checked at Target, cause it can solve all my problems...but they were fresh out of pet dolphins and Home Depot was incompetent too. Sheesh!

I thought to myself, "This too shall pass." I mean how long can a kid hold out hope for a pet dolphin? Seriously! Well, let me go ahead and answer that for you...FOR-EV-ER....
You're killin me, Smalls!

This kid has daily asked for his pet dolphin for two weeks. And when I say for the zillionth time, "I am sorry sweetie, we do not have a pet one has a pet dolphin...just like no one has a pet unicorn or a pet Thundercat" he falls to the floor in despair and grief and utter hopelessness and then his screams reach an unbearable decibel level and his face turns from pink to red to blue and I drink a latte -- I know what you are thinking, don't worry --FAT FREE.

So tonight I took matters into my own hands. I decided to square up to this fight. It was time to take the gloves off...or is it put them on? A good friend needs to help me out here!

I decided to tell him a little story. Some might call this a tall tale. Others might say a small white lie. Yet still some judgemental people will be reserving my condo in hell. I think it is worth it though. And I am just sayin, if it was good enough for Paul Bunyan, it is good enough for me.

I explained to Middle Twerp that a dolphin is fish and asked "Can you think of any other fish?"

Sob Sob Sniffle Sniffle, "Yeah...Neee-mo."

"That is right sweetie, Nemo is also a fish. There are ALL kinds of fish. Can you think of any others?"

"A hammerhead and bull shark."

Okay, I ignored those and asked for another.

"Yeah, Dorothy."

"Good job, Dorothy is Elmo's goldfish. All the dolphins in the ocean are with their families right now. None need to be adopted. But there are some goldfish just like Dorothy that do not have a mommy or daddy. Would you like to get a goldfish and be its daddy?'

"Is a goldfish a brother to the dolphin?"

"Well kinda. They are both in the fish family."

"So, is it a cousin?"

"Why, yes I think you could call it a cousin."

"Okay, let's go get a cousin dolphin." Sob Sob Sniff SniffHow could I possibly say no to that? Here he is making clicking noises and "talking" to the cousin dolphin. They shared a moment.
So we know are a family with two pets....Jeter is not gleeful and Indiana Jones will be home tonight...I hope me and the fish are not sleeping on that new sleeper sofa. Yikes! Listening to: Giving Up Ingrid Michaelson

Quoting: There are days when solitude, for someone my age, is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall. Colette, 'Freedom,' 1908

Thinking about - Movie Line: I'll have what she's having ... Guess anyone?


theotherblonde said...

We had a goldfish once. Hubby named it "Bait". It died of a hematoma(sp)(Bloodclot) atleast that's what I told Boo-cuz i think it had been floating a while and had this purple spot on it's side.

Thinking about-When Harry Met Sally

Have a great day!

Laura said...

Sweet! So does the dolphin cousin have a name?

Scrappy Girl said...

Hope the goldfish idea works out for him. When Harry Met Sally!

Working Mom said...

1. "You're killin me, Smalls" is spoken daily at my house!
2. I had a goldfish once named Gill (name THAT movie!) he lived for like 5 years.
3. The Boy had a couple named Cosmo and Wanda. (I know, I'm clever with the names.) They lived for about 5 weeks.
4. When Harry Met Sally

hope4grace said...

This is exactly how I got stuck with Wiki I, and Wiki II (the middle of the night replacement after Wiki I did a suicide jump into the garbage disposal during bowl cleaning time) so be very very careful, don't get upgraded to a full tank......

Jen said...

How awesome. We had fish growing up. They were great for mom she didn't have as many chores to do for them. Unlike me, maybe we need to sell all of our animals off and get fish. I wouldn't have to get up so early. Yea right I would be able to part with my horses and dogs. The pigs maybe.

Simply Me... said...

where are you miss country girl, you won the giveaway over at simply me. I e-mailed you for your address I'll wait to hear from you!


Kelly said...

If you like Ingrid Michaelson, definitely check out Greg Laswell. His indie singer/songwriter sound should appeal to the same audience. He's currently the opener on her latest tour and you can hear his new single "How the Day Sounds" on this jukebox site:

amanda said...

Hi there,

Ingrid Michaelson and Music Nation are collaborating on a contest to see who can best belt out her hit track "The Way I Am." There aren't many in the contest yet, and the winner scores an autographed Gibson guitar. Sounds interesting...

Here's the link to the contest:

Brandy said...

Target solves all of your problems too???? Especially those with a Starbucks!!!