We checked at Target, cause it can solve all my problems...but they were fresh out of pet dolphins and Home Depot was incompetent too. Sheesh!
I thought to myself, "This too shall pass." I mean how long can a kid hold out hope for a pet dolphin? Seriously! Well, let me go ahead and answer that for you...FOR-EV-ER....
You're killin me, Smalls!
This kid has daily asked for his pet dolphin for two weeks. And when I say for the zillionth time, "I am sorry sweetie, we do not have a pet dolphin...no one has a pet dolphin...just like no one has a pet unicorn or a pet Thundercat" he falls to the floor in despair and grief and utter hopelessness and then his screams reach an unbearable decibel level and his face turns from pink to red to blue and I drink a latte -- I know what you are thinking, don't worry --FAT FREE.
So tonight I took matters into my own hands. I decided to square up to this fight. It was time to take the gloves off...or is it put them on? A good friend needs to help me out here!
I decided to tell him a little story. Some might call this a tall tale. Others might say a small white lie. Yet still some judgemental people will be reserving my condo in hell. I think it is worth it though. And I am just sayin, if it was good enough for Paul Bunyan, it is good enough for me.
I explained to Middle Twerp that a dolphin is fish and asked "Can you think of any other fish?"
Sob Sob Sniffle Sniffle, "Yeah...Neee-mo."
"That is right sweetie, Nemo is also a fish. There are ALL kinds of fish. Can you think of any others?"
"A hammerhead and bull shark."
Okay, I ignored those and asked for another.
"Good job, Dorothy is Elmo's goldfish. All the dolphins in the ocean are with their families right now. None need to be adopted. But there are some goldfish just like Dorothy that do not have a mommy or daddy. Would you like to get a goldfish and be its daddy?'
"Is a goldfish a brother to the dolphin?"
"Well kinda. They are both in the fish family."
"So, is it a cousin?"
"Why, yes I think you could call it a cousin."
"Okay, let's go get a cousin dolphin." Sob Sob Sniff SniffHow could I possibly say no to that? Here he is making clicking noises and "talking" to the cousin dolphin. They shared a moment.
So we know are a family with two pets....Jeter is not gleeful and Indiana Jones will be home tonight...I hope me and the fish are not sleeping on that new sleeper sofa. Yikes! Listening to: Giving Up Ingrid Michaelson
Quoting: There are days when solitude, for someone my age, is a heady wine that intoxicates you with freedom, others when it is a bitter tonic, and still others when it is a poison that makes you beat your head against the wall. Colette, 'Freedom,' 1908
Thinking about - Movie Line: I'll have what she's having ... Guess anyone?