Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Run Away From the Pee

Okay, I hesitate in even sharing this story from fear of judgement -- or worse, diagnosis. Maybe some children's psychiatrist reads this blog (of course out of complete randomness) and will give my Twerps a diagnosis of something awful...and all their mother's fault.

And let's face it, if Country Girl is hesitating sharing, it must be bad..cause she shares it all.

It all started this morning with breakfast. The Boy Twerps are in the I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF stage. Which translates to momma language as BIG OL MESS. But I am embracing their birth into independence so I allow them to TRY to make their own breakfast.

Which ended up as ...No, I pour it...No, I pour it...No, me...No, me ... and ended like this...I tell you this is a boy thing. If I would have had two girls pouring themselves cereal they would have poured for eight and had a formal place setting and used cloth napkins and sugar bowls and gourmet coffee....Oh, how I long for girls.

Fine, fine...at least their was no milk. I instructed them to pick it up, place it in the bowl and put it in the trash. And then I left this progect...unsupervided...Gulp.Not only were they placing it back into the container...they were eating it off the floor...GROSS!

But you know what, it is not the end of the world -- cause I mop my floors with disinfectant at least 8,421 times a day. And I iron my sheets and pillow cases.

But this was really okay. Really. But then...then...

I heard Baby Twerp screaming...No, No. Run, Run. And it was one of those panicked voices so I ran into the room to see Middle Twerp with the guiltiest look EV-ER on his face and I just looked at him and he said the worst, grossest, most horrific six little words ever. EV-ER.

i. did. not. pee. on. him.

WHAT?

Anytime a four-year-old says they did not do something, it is their inner conscience cleansing itself from all shame and guilt.

So I said calmly.. Show me where you did not pee.I am just sayin...I did not sign up for this. I want sugar bowls and cloth napkins. gag.

17 comments:

Jenn said...

*gasp*

I am running away from this post...I fear I am doomed to have only boy children and reading your blog is like a glimpse into my future, lol!!

I was telling a friend the other day that I would sooo much rather deal with boys and their mess than girls and fighting over boyfriends, and PMS, etc.

Now? I'm not so sure either sex is any easier!

Just The Girl said...

Oh My God is all I can say really....don't you just love boys?

Jen said...

Okay I have one boy and 2 girls and dealing with the messes and gross stuff is better that the attitude the girls give. Plus my girls do the gross messy stuff too. Maybe it's just my girls that do that but, I don't see the sugar bowls and cloth napkin image ever happening at my house. Best of luck at least he didn't pee on you.

candidreflections said...

he he he...
What did baby twerp do to deserve such treatment, was he not gathering up those cheerioes fast enough? he he... boys have such a way of keeping the chain-of-command in practice ;)
what ever the scenario was, it looks like you're gonna have "one of those days." Brace yourself, one day we'll look back and marvel at how quickly these years went by... I think.

hope4grace said...

After reading this post (which was freaking awesome) I immediately called my oldest twerp just to say, I love you and I love you being a girl and I'm glad you didn't pee on anybody in your entire life.....her response was "cool, now can I get fake nails?" sigh....

So how long was the steaming hot bath that baby twerp had to take before you were sure he was clean?

Cristie said...

I have 3 girls and trust me, they are NOT better. I can write a book of horror stories. Once, my 3 year old decided to put "eyeshadow" on my 2 year old. Only, it was FINGERNAIL POLISH!!! Or how about the time when they were 1 and 2 and painted their entire bedroom with POOP! Not one surface was left uncovered. It was even in their ears, eyes, nostrils, etc. It was everywhere. And they did this TWICE in one week! Yeah, girls are NOT better than boys!!

Treasia said...

Boys will be boys! He was probably just practicing him aim? LOL.

Becky :) said...

Holy Cow, that's the only thing that comes to mind.
I have one of each and I think I'm glad that I didn't get two boys although that's what I really wanted.
You definitely have your hands full. :-)

The Rose Fam said...

OMG...I am laughing soooo hard!!! Can you hear me? There is NEVER a dull moment at your house! It is sooo much fun visiting your part of the world! I LOVE visiting your house! I thought you were going to say they were peeing on the cheerios...not each other!

CindyDianne said...

I am so thankful that I only had the one boy. He didn't really have anyone to pee on! Yucko! You are a patient and loving woman!

A Christian said...

Okay, your blog just cracks me up! I might not comment on every post, but I read every single one.

Love it! You need your own TV show...

~Maria
http://www.jubileeonearth.com

bakerchick103 said...

This is so freakin funny. And all the other gals are right, girls ain't easier, and if by some miracle they are, they MORE than make up for it in attitude. Ah, the life of a mom.

Laura B. said...

Dear God,
When I said I'd rather have boys than girls, because boys are just less complicated. I lied...I really want girls...just girls....
Thanks!
Laura B.

Lacie said...

hi country girl....i found your blog from my friend Spanki in Madville. i have read through some of your blog posts and i just want to say that this has to be the funniest blog i have read in a long time...or ever for that matter. i will definetly be checking in often. as for the boys, i have two myself with a tomboy girl thrown in the middle...lets just say that there is never a dull moment around our camp either...
Smiles... Lacie B.

Marchelle said...

"I did not pee on him" says Middle Twerp, as he points to where he, in fact, did pee on him.

Dana Jones said...

think of it as early training for the stage of aging parents! lol! I just spent a day at the nursing home, can you tell?

theotherblonde said...

OMG!!! TOO FUNNY!!!!